Navigating the Challenge When Children Refuse Visitation with a Parent: Texas Family Law Insight
When Children Refuse Visitation: Common Issues and Conflicts in Texas Child Custody and Visitation
In Texas divorce and family law cases, it's not uncommon for children to express resistance or refusal to visitation with one of their parents. This can be a challenging situation for all parties involved, including the parents, the child, and the Court. Understanding the legal framework and strategies to address this issue is crucial for ensuring the best interests of the child are upheld. In this article, we will delve into the topic of children refusing visitation with a parent under Texas family law, providing insights and guidance to help parents navigate this complex situation when children refuse visitation.
At the Barrows Firm in Southlake, Attorney Leslie Barrows and her team of attorneys, paralegals, and staff all work together with clients to manage precarious situations, when visitation is an issue and the children do not want to go. Communication problems can be the source of difficulty, or it could be a scheduling problem or something the kid just won’t talk about when sometimes of nowhere children refuse visitation with the other parent.
Please also see our related article, Withholding Visitation from the Noncustodial Parent in Texas
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Understanding the Best Interests of the Child in Custody and Visitation Matters
In Texas, the primary consideration of family Courts in custody and visitation matters is the best interests of the child. When a child refuses visitation with a parent, the Court will aim to ascertain the underlying reasons and determine the most appropriate course of action. Factors such as the child's age, maturity, reasons for refusal, and the parent-child relationship will be considered during the decision-making process.
Managing the child’s expectations and fostering good relationships with both parents and other family members is important. Part of that job means learning when to respect your child’s wishes and when to use your parental veto power and remind them your job is to be their parent, not their friend, and sometimes that means short-term disappointments, they get over quickly in many cases.
Check out the blog Our Family Wizard recommends on this topic, What to Do if Your Child Refuses Visitation with the Other Parent –Barrows Firm Tip: Always Keep Complete Notes on Situations and Use the Our Family Wizard’s Features
Reasons for Refusal to Exercise Visitation
Children may refuse visitation for various reasons, including strained parent-child relationships, negative influence from third parties, or fear and anxiety stemming from a previous negative experience. It is essential to differentiate between situations where a child's refusal may be justified due to safety concerns versus cases where it may be driven by temporary emotional factors.
Sometimes a new significant other can be the thing the child is afraid to talk about because they might not want to admit that seeing mom or dad with someone new is a real thing, it really puts the nail in the coffin when kids remain in hope that their parents will reconcile one day, even if that is not a reasonable dream.
In Texas, Do Children Have the Right to Refuse Visitation at a Certain Age?
Under Texas family law, children do not have an absolute right to refuse visitation based solely on their age. The court considers the best interests of the child as the primary factor in custody and visitation matters. While the court may consider a child's age and maturity when determining visitation arrangements, it is not a blanket authorization for a child to refuse visitation without valid reasons. The court will assess the situation, evaluate the child's reasons for refusal, and make a decision that promotes the child's overall well-being and maintains a meaningful relationship with both parents.
Great On Point Reference: Psychology Today, Helping Kids Be More Responsible for Their Actions
Can a Child in Texas Refuse Visitation at a Certain Age?
In Texas, there is no specific age at which a child can unilaterally refuse to see a parent. The court considers the best interests of the child when making custody and visitation decisions. While the child's preferences and maturity may be taken into account, they are not the sole determining factors. The court will assess various aspects, such as the child's age, maturity, reasons for refusal, and the parent-child relationship. Ultimately, the court strives to make decisions that promote the child's well-being and ensure meaningful relationships with both parents.
Should I Force My Child to See the Other Parent if They Don’t Want to Go?
As a parent, you may wonder if you are legally obligated to force your child to visit with the other parent. In Texas, the court expects parents to comply with court-ordered visitation schedules unless there are valid safety concerns. While it is generally advisable to encourage and facilitate a healthy parent-child relationship, forcing a child against their will may not be productive or in their best interests. It is important to address the underlying reasons for the child's refusal and explore alternative solutions such as mediation or counseling. If concerns persist, consulting with a qualified family law attorney can provide guidance on how to navigate this situation while considering the child's well-being and complying with the court's orders.
Resolving Visitation and Refusal Issues Amicably
When faced with a child's refusal, parents should prioritize open communication and cooperation. Encouraging dialogue between the child and the resistant parent can help address any underlying issues or concerns. Parents should explore the reasons behind the refusal, actively listen to their child's perspective, and work towards finding mutually agreeable solutions.
Mediation and Counseling for Custody and Visitation Conflicts
In cases where communication proves challenging, involving a neutral third party such as a mediator or a qualified counselor can be beneficial. Mediation can help facilitate discussions between parents and assist in finding common ground. Additionally, counseling may provide a safe space for the child to express their concerns and work through any emotional challenges related to visitation.
Modification of Visitation Orders
If efforts to resolve the issue amicably prove unsuccessful, seeking a modification of the visitation order may be necessary. In Texas, the Court can modify a visitation order if it is in the best interests of the child. However, it is important to note that the burden of proof lies with the parent seeking the modification. They must demonstrate a substantial change in circumstances or provide compelling evidence that the current visitation arrangement is no longer suitable.
At the Barrows Firm, it is common for clients to request modifications and bring new suits to accomplish the same. In many cases, this can be done out of Court and the new parenting plan can be agreed to by the parties, sometimes with very little mediation or negotiation. In other cases, there is a hearing and trial on the merits of the suit to modify visitation and parenting time.
Ensuring Compliance with Court Orders
Regardless of the child's refusal, parents must comply with Court-ordered visitation schedules. Failure to do so may result in legal consequences and may negatively impact future custody decisions. If a parent believes that visitation should be restricted or modified due to safety concerns, they should consult with their attorney and seek appropriate legal remedies.
The Role of Parental Alienation
Parental alienation refers to situations where one parent deliberately influences the child to reject or resist the other parent. In Texas, parental alienation is viewed unfavorably by the Courts as it undermines the child's relationship with the non-residential parent. If parental alienation is suspected, the affected parent should gather evidence and consult with their attorney to protect their rights and the child's best interests.
In cases where all other attempts to address visitation refusal have failed, seeking Court intervention may be necessary. A parent can file a motion to enforce the existing visitation order or seek a modification based on the child's refusal. The Court will assess the circumstances, consider the child's best interests, and make a determination that is fair and just.
When children refuse visitation with a parent, it presents a delicate and complex situation under Texas family law. The best interests of the child remain the guiding principle throughout the decision-making process. By fostering open communication, exploring mediation or counseling, seeking appropriate legal remedies, and involving the Court, when necessary, parents can navigate these challenges while ensuring the child's well-being and maintaining their parental rights. Consulting with a qualified family law attorney is crucial for understanding the specifics of your situation and securing the best outcome for your child's future.
Contact the Barrows Firm in Southlake, Learn Your Rights and Options When Children Refuse Visitation at 817-481-1583
Withholding Visitation from the Noncustodial Parent in Texas
Withholding Visitation from the Noncustodial Parent in Texas: What You Need to Know
Divorce in Texas is never easy, especially when children are involved. One of the most contentious issues that can arise during a divorce is child custody and visitation rights. When parents separate or divorce, the court may award one parent custody and grant visitation rights to the noncustodial parent. However, what happens when the custodial parent withholds visitation from the noncustodial parent? In Texas, this is a serious issue that can have legal consequences.
One of the biggest misconceptions is that it’s a good idea to withhold visitation of the children over disputes about child support and medical contribution payments. Or because the other parent has a new significant other, some find it appropriate to withhold visitation, and much to their chagrin when the judge lets them know it may be objectionable. In this article, we highlight the various reasons people withhold visitation and the consequences of various conduct.
A primary parent with more parental rights to make decisions about the child can believe they are doing the right thing the in the child’s best interest when they threaten to or withhold visitation from the noncustodial parent, and even if they feel justified, the court and the other parent are often not impressed and find a way to alert the Court only to find a judge not too happy with co-parents who cannot get along.
Southlake family lawyer, Leslie Barrows, is frequently asked about what might happen if they withhold visitation. There may be legitimate safety concerns and parents with those concerns make good notes documenting everything about the situation, because even if they believe they are making the right decision, they may be on the hook to defend their actions in Court.
The Basics of Visitation Rights in Texas
In Texas, the court typically grants visitation rights to the noncustodial parent unless it would not be in the child's best interest. The parent who is appointed primary conservator with the right to determine the legal residence of the child is also called the primary as well as the custodial parent.
The Court strongly urges parents to negotiate an agreed settlement where possible, determining issues of custody and visitation rights. These visitation rights can be supervised or unsupervised, and the frequency and duration of the visits can vary depending on the circumstances of the case.
If the custodial parent interferes with the noncustodial parent's visitation rights, this can be considered a violation of the court order. In Texas, the court takes violations of custody and visitation orders seriously and can impose legal consequences on the offending parent. Being held in contempt of Court will not only cost a parent significant time and resources but sometimes attorney’s fees on both sides. As well it may be difficult to continue with any post-decree matters with the same judge after the parent decided to willfully disregard the orders of the Court.
Not All Co-Parents or Conservators Were Married
When married couples divorce in Texas and have children, the child custody and visitation issues are determined in the original divorce action. However, if the parents are not married and otherwise have a child together, the parental rights are determined as a matter of law, and issues of parental rights are determined in what is called a SAPCR (suit affecting the parent-child relationship) case. Sometimes the person who has standing to bring a SAPSCR suit for custody is a grandparent or family member with whom the child is primarily being raised. This can also be a sibling. These types of cases are usually seen when CPS(Child Protective Services) removes a child from a parent and places them with a family member.
Why a Custodial Parent May Withhold Visitation
There are many reasons why a custodial parent may choose to withhold visitation from the noncustodial parent. Some of the most common reasons include:
· Concerns about the noncustodial parent's ability to provide a safe environment for the child;
· Concerns about the noncustodial parent's alcohol or drug use;
· The noncustodial parent is behind on child support payments;
· The noncustodial parent is not adhering to the visitation schedule or has missed scheduled visits; and/or
· The child expresses a desire not to visit the noncustodial parent.
While these concerns may be valid, withholding visitation is not always the best course of action. If the custodial parent believes that the child is in danger while in the noncustodial parent's care, they should seek legal remedies to protect the child. This may involve filing for a modification of the custody and visitation order or seeking a protective order.
When Southlake family lawyer, Leslie Barrows, and her team of attorneys and paralegals receive questions about custody and visitation fights, they work with the client on creating a strategy to solve the problem whenever possible, out of court, and with the lawyers documenting everything to prevent future conflicts. Sometimes it just takes some neutral professionals to help solve problems.
Legal Consequences of Withholding Visitation
In Texas, violating a custody or visitation order can result in legal consequences. If the court finds that a custodial parent has willfully violated a court order, they can be held in contempt of court. This can result in fines, jail time, and even a modification of the custody order. Additionally, the custodial parent may be required to pay the noncustodial parent's attorney's fees and court costs.
The court may also consider the custodial parent's behavior when making future custody and visitation decisions. If the custodial parent has a history of violating the court order, the court may choose to modify the custody arrangement or grant more visitation to the noncustodial parent.
Orders of Protection and Custody Modifications
If something is happening that is so dire that it’s necessary to withhold visitation, the situation might also be an emergency that justifies filing a Petition for an Order of Protection as well as a new suit to Modify Custody. Family violence situations are scary and protecting the children and parents is important. Too often there are substance abuse issues that lead to the breakdown of a parent who makes bad decisions. Read more about these issues in our article, Court Orders and Modifications: Parents Drinking at Home.
Parental Perspectives: How Do Mom and Dad Approach Conflict in Custody and Visitation?
When it comes to conflict in custody and visitation, both moms and dads can approach the situation differently. Moms may be more likely to withhold visitation due to concerns about their child's safety or well-being, while dads may be more likely to fight for increased visitation rights. However, these are generalizations, and each parent's approach can vary depending on their circumstances and personalities.
Regardless of their approach, both parents need to prioritize the best interests of their children and work towards a resolution that benefits everyone involved. This may involve seeking legal remedies, such as mediation or a modification of the custody and visitation order, or finding ways to communicate effectively and resolve conflicts amicably. Ultimately, a cooperative and respectful approach is key to navigating conflict in custody and visitation.
Mental and Emotional Consequences to Children When Visitation is Withheld
Even though parents make significant efforts to protect their children from the parents’ communication about the divorce, custody, and visitation issues, the children may still know something is happening if visitation is suddenly interrupted. How many excuses can someone make about the other parent’s availability, until the child(ren) starts figuring out something else is going on? And when you can anticipate gaslighting from the other parent whose visitation is being withheld, imagine the drama, and you know that kids pick up on that, no matter how hard we try, it can be tough to hide conflict.
Article Recommendation: Psychologicaland Emotional Aspects of Child Custody Battles and Divorce by Kathie Mathis, Psy.D
What to Do if Visitation is Withheld
If a noncustodial parent's visitation rights are being withheld, there are legal remedies available. The noncustodial parent can file a motion to enforce the custody and visitation order. This motion will ask the court to enforce the existing order and hold the custodial parent in contempt of court for violating the order.
If the custodial parent has violated the order multiple times, the noncustodial parent can file a motion to modify the custody and visitation order. This motion will ask the court to modify the order to grant the noncustodial parent more visitation or even custody of the child.
Withholding visitation from the noncustodial parent can have serious legal consequences in Texas. While there may be valid reasons for withholding visitation, it's important to talk to your family lawyer before doing anything and take good notes of anything that happens that concerns you about your child, the other parent, and the reasons you want to find out about withholding visitation. Contact us at the Barrows Firm to learn your rights and duties as a parent.
Keep Informed About Texas Child Custody and Visitation Issues Such as Withholding Visitation from the Noncustodial Parent. Get Answers at The Barrows Firm in Southlake (817) 481-1583
Child Custody Evaluations in Texas: Essentials to Know
Texas Courts Use Child Custody Evaluations in Determining Custody Arrangements
Child custody evaluations in Texas are court-ordered assessments of parents and their children to help determine custody arrangements in Texas divorce cases. There are some great children out there, with loving parents who would walkthrough fire for their child. And when both parents are great parents, determining custody disputes through settlement or by trial, often requires some expert assistance. Certainly, the parents and their family lawyers are going to present them in the best light to the judge, but more digging needs to take place when the judge needs to decide or strongly recommend a settlement as they are likely to rule.
When the Court orders a child custody evaluation in Texas divorce and custody cases, there is often a list of approved mental health professionals the lawyers can agree upon, or the judge makes the appointment to the best of their discretion.
Southlake child custody attorney Leslie Barrows has well-established working relationships with so many of the great local child custody evaluators. It is important to treat them well as important professionals in the process and remember they are an extension of the judge and Court in a custody case. In this article, we are happy to share some essentials to know about the process of Child Custody Evaluations in Texas.
Child Custody Evaluations of Parent-Child Relationships
A child custody evaluation is an assessment of the parents and the child(ren) involved in a custody dispute. The evaluation is conducted by a mental health professional appointed by the court, and their role is to provide recommendations to the judge about what custody arrangement would be in the best interest of the child.
When both parents seek to be appointed as primary parents and conservators with the right to determine the residence of the child(ren),the child custody evaluation highlights any instances or character components that help the judge and the parties determine or settle disputes about what is alleged in the pleadings of the case about the parties, namely allegations of fact about the other parent as to whether they should be awarded primary or sole custody.
Mental Health Professionals Are Appointed by the Court to Conduct Child Custody Evaluations
The evaluation is conducted by a mental health professional, such as a psychologist, psychiatrist, or social worker, who has experience working with families and children. The evaluator must be approved by the court. In Texas child custody cases and suits affecting parent-child relationships, the Family Code identifies the powers and duties of the professionals appointed by the court, namely child custody evaluators.
Find topics related to child custody evaluations in our Barrows Firm blog article, Divorcing With Children 105: How to Prepare for Court including the following,
The Role of a Child Custody Evaluator in Texas:
“You or the opposing party can request the Court order child custody evaluation. Working well with the evaluator is important to prepare for court. Leslie Barrows can help you prepare your expectations of a child custody evaluator process when divorcing with children.
Be prepared for the judge to give great weight to the recommendations of the custody evaluator. Of course, the evaluator’s report can be challenged when necessary. What is most important to the court in making findings for child custody and parenting time is what is in the best interest of the child. It is in a child’s best interest to have good relationships with both parents, without abuse, neglect, or parental alienation.”
Evaluations Are Done Through Interviews Among Family Members, Friends, and Others
The evaluation typically involves interviews with the parents, the child(ren), and other individuals involved in the child's life, such as teachers, coaches, or healthcare providers. The evaluator may also observe the parent-child interactions, review documents, and administer psychological tests.
Related Article: Reflections on Mental Health Professionals Working with Divorcing Parents Outside the Courtroom
Along the process, the court may order limitations, or directions, if any, as to what types of tests and examinations are appropriate because every case and family is unique. The scope and depth of child custody evaluation orders reflect the allegations made among the parties in the case. Some allegations are of isolated incidents, and others lead inquiries into deeper potential problems, the kind that can affect the ability of a person to function in the role of a responsible parent. The best interests of the child(ren) require attention to detail when serious allegations are made.
Evaluations Can Take Several Weeks to Months Depending on the Circumstances
The length of the evaluation can vary, but it typically takes several months to complete. The Court’s order and discovery schedule often includes deadlines including custody evaluation reports. There can be a tendency for some people to attempt to thwart the process by not cooperating with the custody evaluation process and that may involve conflict with the mental health professional appointed in the case.
At any point in the process, the attorney for one of the parties can ask the Court to assist in urging compliance with the Court’s orders and penalize parties for willful contempt. Messing around with the process only costs people more time and money in the long run.
Parents Often Share Evaluation Costs or the Court Orders a Party to Pay
The cost of the evaluation is usually split between the parents, but the court may order one parent to pay the entire cost if they have the financial means to do so. If one of the parties is causing problems in the case, it may be suggested to have an evaluation ordered when that was not the original game plan, and in that case, the Court can be asked to order the aggravating party to pay for more or all of the evaluation. It all depends on the case, how things are going, and what is fair and equitable given the facts and circumstances.
See our related article about problem parents, Verbal and Emotional Abuse in Texas Divorce and Family Law
The Evaluator Files a Recommendation Report with the Court
The evaluator will provide a written report to the court with their findings and recommendations. The judge will consider the report along with other evidence presented in the case when making a custody determination. The judge reads the findings and recommendations in the report and ideally uses that valuable information in making a custody determination. In many cases, the judge will urge the parties to settle their disputes and let them know in which way they are leaning if they must make an official ruling to decide custody. Judges strongly prefer parties to agree to settle their issues and decide, but certainly in many instances that just is not possible.
Challenging the Child Custody Evaluation Assessment and Report
Yes, the evaluation can be challenged by either parent if they believe the evaluator was biased or made errors in their assessment. However, challenging the evaluation can be a complex and costly process.
The human element that is room for error is the custody evaluators themselves, and any bias they may hold, knowingly or unknowingly. Remember, however, that challenging the recommendation of the evaluator, or asking for the evaluator to be removed from the case, can lead to more problems and is difficult for all involved. The most important factor is the best interest of the child(ren).
Overall, child custody evaluations in Texas are an important tool used by the court to determine what custody arrangement is in the best interest of the child. Parents are encouraged to cooperate with the evaluation process and provide honest and accurate information to the evaluator.
Seek Advice and Counsel at the Barrows Firm in Southlake for Information about Child Custody Evaluations in Texas and Related Matters (817) 481-1583
The Two Certainties in Life: Death & Taxes
The Barrows Firm in Southlake Helps with Answers and Solutions for Marriage, Divorce, Death, and Taxes
Tax Day this year is Tuesday, April 18, 2023. At the Barrows Firm in Southlake, we help families with wills and estate planning, and tax status and property issues, to take advantage of the best options for families. We may never know the date of our last day, but we can be prepared so that our wishes are carried out with a proper will, and our assets and gifts are properly transferred. Avoiding taxes on inherited money and assets is the objective of estate planning at the Barrows Firm. And as our marital and parental situations may change, we must also consider whether we need to make different tax decisions, how to file, and how to protect assets, two important considerations. We focus on answering all your death and tax issues at the Barrows Firm. Attorney Leslie Barrows can help.
How do we know which tax issues apply as we collect our financial information and prepare to do our taxes or consult a tax professional? When do we ask our attorney about tax issues? What if I am forgetting something important? For these common questions, Attorney Leslie Barrows and the team of professionals at the Barrows Firm frequently help people find the right directions and answers to all their questions, especially the questions they didn’t know they had. For more on point, see our blog article, Divorce Taxation: Avoiding Penalty for QDRO Distribution Withdrawals (and other common divorce and tax questions).
Protecting your family and accumulated wealth, property, and assets requires a reasonably consistent review of the laws and status of people in the family, who may be preparing for, or going through big life events. Marriage, the birth or adoption of children, divorce, and death, are all times that we need to sit down and go through issues of life and death, income, and taxes.
Tax Considerations for Changing Status from Married to Single, and Dependents
When does your tax status officially change? How, by whom, and when will your children be claimed as dependents? These are the common questions people ask, but there are property considerations as well. We have several accountants and CPAs who work with family law clients to make the best tax filing decisions and help with asset questions about buying, selling, and renting. For example, whatever happens to the marital residence affects potential property tax liability. What if you decide to buy or rent a smaller home, condominium, or apartment? The entirety of the financial picture is important, especially when a divorce situation is stretching a family’s income to pay for more than one residence. Get guidance on life, death, and tax issues at the Barrows Firm.
There is No Inheritance Tax in Texas
In Texas, there is no inheritance tax assessed on our death, as is the case in some states. Inheritance tax is a tax that is imposed on the transfer of an individual's assets to their heirs or beneficiaries upon their death. This tax is levied on the total value of the deceased's estate, which includes all their possessions, such as property, money, investments, and personal belongings. The rate of inheritance tax varies depending on the jurisdiction, and in some cases, it may also depend on the relationship between the deceased and the beneficiary. Note that you may have to pay federal estate taxes, but no state inheritance tax applies in Texas.
Yahoo News: Here Are the States With No Estate or Inheritance Taxes
Inheritance tax is a controversial topic, with some arguing that it is a fair way to redistribute wealth and reduce inequality, while others argue that it is a form of double taxation and an unfair burden on families who are already dealing with the loss of a loved one.
It's important to note that not all countries have an inheritance tax. In some jurisdictions, the tax may be called an estate tax or a death tax, and the rules and rates may vary significantly. If you have questions about inheritance tax in your country or state, it's best to consult with a financial advisor or tax professional.
Texas Does Have Estate Taxes, But Only on Estates Valued Over $5 Million
In Texas, the estate tax only applies to gross estates with a taxable value of over $5 million, and the tax rate ranges depending on the value of the estate. Additionally, the federal government imposes an estate tax on estates with a taxable value of over $12,060,000 in 2022, which will rise to 12,920,000 in 2023. The Barrows Firm attorneys assist with your estate planning work with tax and trust professionals who assist in preparing for the accumulation and transfer of wealth, minimizing the exposure to tax liability, especially considering estate taxes.
Property Taxes Pack a Punch to Inheritors when Property Tax Exemptions Disappear on Death
In Texas, our property taxes can be frozen at their rate when a person lives in their home, has a homestead exemption, and is 65years of age. And while the senior resident enjoys the frozen tax rate that doesn’t increase when they have that homestead exemption, the property passed on to others will not receive the exemptions, because they are non-transferable and do not pass to their heirs of an estate, as a matter of law. This begs the question of what to do with the property when someone passes. In Texas, we also have properties with agricultural exemptions that may expire with that person’s status of home and property ownership. In many of these cases, the property is transferred to heirs upon death and has a tax bill that is so high without the exemptions, that family is better off selling the land, sometimes to developers when the land is larger and in a growing area. Could something else be done with the property, using a trust to secure its future? These are all questions that are different for every family. We spend our lives working to build wealth and income to hopefully benefit our future generations, and that planning means taking into account every variable.
Great Property Tax Exemptions Issues: Texas Property Tax Exemptions You Need to Know
Estate Planning Updates Are Needed After a Divorce in Texas
The family estate planning needs to be updated if it was drafted when you were married, with the assumption that marriage would continue until your death. When you outlive the marriage, update the estate plan accordingly. This is not difficult work and the status updates are important. In addition, your estate planning attorneys at the Barrows Firm help remind you to also contact financial institutions where you may have listed a former spouse as the person payable upon death, or otherwise marked them as a beneficiary in the event of your death.
Do not forget those Power of Attorney Documents when doing your updating. The last thing anyone needs is an acrimonious ex-spouse with continuing authority over your business or life decisions. Now, if you want to leave your former spouse with some power of attorney agency, you can do that if you wish, and if you do, definitely update your documents to prevent disagreements among family in the future. Making your wishes known is important, even if they might not be what people expect.
Find the Best Assistance with Marriage, Divorce, Life, Death, and Tax issues at the Barrows Firm (817) 481-1583
Unlucky in Love: What Women Need to Know About Spousal Support, Maintenance
Spousal Support: Maintenance is Additional Money, Not Part of Marital Property Divisions
Judges in Texas determine whether spousal maintenance, what most call alimony, is appropriate in a divorce in Texas. Maintenance is an award in a suit for dissolution of marriage of periodic payments from the future income of one spouse for the support of the other spouse. In Texas, the law presumes that a spouse does not need spousal support from the other and a maintenance order is not necessary. However, spousal support can be ordered if the spouse making that request shows a good faith effort to earn income or acquire education to be able to earn income, but otherwise is unable to provide for their needs.
If the Court determines that it is appropriate to move forward and evaluate the wife’s maintenance request, they apply a series off actors in determining the nature of support, the amount, duration, and method of the spousal support payment.
Answers to Frequent Texas Divorce Questions
Women in need of spousal support in their divorce should be clear on their temporary and permanent support needs when they file for a divorce. At the Barrows Firm, founding attorney Leslie Barrows and her colleagues discuss a woman’s rights and options in divorce and also review their stake in community property distribution and child support.
Want the Men’s Perspective? Our Article: Men’s Issues and Perspectives on Divorce: Spousal Support and Child Support
In Texas, either spouse can request an awarded order of spousal maintenance in a divorce, however, the Court can only order maintenance if the other spouse requesting a maintenance award does not otherwise haveenough property to provide for their basic needs at the time of the divorce, and there is an additional required circumstance such as 1) a family violence conviction, 2) physical or mental disability, 3) it’s a 10-yearmarriage and the dependent spouse lacks income earning abilities, or 4) the spouse requesting is the custodial parent of a child requiring significant personal care preventing them from earning income.
Texas Spousal Support is Limited by Statute, for People Seeking Court-Ordered Maintenance Eligibility
A spouse may seek maintenance if they lack sufficient property to provide for their reasonable needs and (1) the spouse from whom maintenance is requested was convicted of or received deferred adjudication for family violence within two years or while the suit is pending; or (2) the spouse seeking maintenance is unable to earn income because of a physical or mental disability; or (3) has been married to the other spouse for more than 10years and cannot earn sufficient income; or (4) is the custodian of a child of the marriage of any age who requires substantial care and supervision so the spouse cannot provide for their own reasonable needs.
Factors in Determining Maintenance
The Court uses all relevant factors in determining maintenance awards if the spouse is eligible. The Court considers earning capacity and ability, education and employment skills, duration of employment, duration of the marriage, and other income-generating factors. Additionally, the Court considers the spouse’s contribution to the other in the marriage and what happened over time, acutely causing the divorce. Endless arguments over equity and fairness can be tied to a request for spousal support.
Financial assistance in the way of spousal maintenance is calculated based on what each party contributes to the marriage including maintaining the home, educational efforts, and the division of marital property. Spousal support may not exceed 20 percent of the supporting spouse’s income or the total amount of $5,000 monthly.
Designed to be rehabilitative and not an annuity, maintenance is usually only ordered for a total of five years in a marriage lasting under 20 years or where there has been a history of family violence. Marriages lasting 20 to 30 years have a maximum of seven years of support and 10 years for marriages more than 30 years.
Spousal Support Can Be Ordered According to the Texas Family Code or by Private Agreement
Texas judges prefer parties to settle their disputes and if the husband is agreeable to pay his ex-wife spousal support, he can do that in a way that makes sense for both him and her. For example, the wife’s claim for maintenance might be on the fence in the eyes of the Court, after weighing property distribution, and the wife’s attorney may save the husband some money by dropping the maintenance claim if the husband voluntarily agrees to some form of spousal support in the marital settlement agreement. The extra cashflow to the ex-wife may be very helpful to her getting on her feet after the divorce and she may opt to forgo her vested stake in a retirement account, for example, and get the equivalent value in current cash.
Women Seeking Spousal Maintenance Are Support Obligees
Women seeking spousal support are called obligees because they are the party to whom the support obligation would be obliged and ordered. The valuable contribution of wives and mothers in the family home and the career development of their husbands are certainly valued in a divorce, and seen in recent news cases where the woman’s contribution value set a high bar.
A judge in Spain made recent news when a man was ordered to pay his ex-wife a total of $215,000 for 25 years of housework. Arguing that being burdened by chores, the former wife and mother also wereresponsible for raising the couple’s two daughters and caring for the husbandall while keeping an “always impeccable” home. Unable to pursue her career, shewas focused on family duties while her husband built a successful business. Thewife’s contributions helped the husband build the business because he was nototherwise distracted by family work. A woman’s contributions to her husband’sability to grow a business and career are valued and awarded in maintenanceamounts, not only in Spain but in Texas, as well, which is supported by caselawon point.
Women Can Be Spousal Support Obligors, Paying Support
In recent decades as more women pursued education and highly compensated careers, more men were able to work more flexible jobs and take more active roles as fathers and primary caretakers for the children and home. In situations where ex-husbands were primary contributors to the home and family, and the wife experienced the benefit of business growth as a direct result, the ex-wife may be ordered to pay spousal support to their ex-husband. The calculations and factors in determining a woman’s maintenance obligations to her ex-husband include the same factors in the equal application.
Read about women paying alimony.
The Barrows Firm Negotiates Spousal Support Cases for Women and Men in North Texas (817) 481-1583
Tempting Fate Without Power of Attorney Documents
What Happens if You Need Life-Saving Decisions and Medical Directives Without Appointing a Power of Attorney?
Southlake Estate Planning Attorney Leslie Barrows cautions against tempting fate without power of attorney documents and in this short article we explain how easy it is to buy peace of mind and the legal protection that is your right in being protected, just in case.
With Saint Patrick’s Day being a popular March holiday, “Lucky” is our theme for March at the Barrows Firm in Southlake and the concepts of luck and fate resonate with some people who when walking down a sidewalk, will never step on the crack, and we don’t need to remind anyone why. And yet we the same people tempt fate every day, whether we know it or now. This now begs the question of whether we are so audacious to rest on our luck while being such fate tempters. If you question your luck, you might otherwise want to cover your assets with legal protection in power of attorney documents.
Texas Almanac: Test Your Knowledge of the Irish in Texas History and the Trinity Irish Dancers!
Most serious car wrecks occur close to home. Don’t wait for an overseas trip to get your power of attorney documents created and updated. Because you are more likely to be injured any given day, close to home, you need power of attorney documents. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration collaborated with auto insurance companies and determined that more than 50 percent of car wrecks occur within five miles of a driver’s home, and 70 percent of them occur within ten miles.
NHTSA Traffic Safety Facts 2020
The Barrows Firm is a great place to get peace of mind with Estate Planning Documents like Wills and Power of Attorney Documents. Anyone and everyone needs a power of attorney so that their wishes and directives are honored if and when they are unable to make decisions or conduct business on their own. In a recent article, we talked about parents of college-age students and how important it can be to be prepared: Young Adults Going to College Need a Power of Attorney.
In the simplest form of understanding, know that without a power of attorney document, a medical professional has to guess how to treat you, and assume your medical wishes if they cannot find or must determine by statute who can make your care decisions. And without a power of attorney, any financial or business transactions are going to have to wait for you to regain your ability to do business. What a nightmare it can be if something happens to any one of us and we don’t have those necessary power of attorney documents, giving our most trusted people the ability to make important decisions and transact on our behalf.
Free Download: Barrows Firm Estate Planning Guide
Medical Power of Attorney for Healthcare – Medical Decisions and Directives
A Medical Power of Attorney applies when you cannot make your own medical care decisions and someone you trust is appointed to make these important decisions for you. Depending on the type of medical procedure, your wishes and directives can be spelled out very specifically in your medical power of attorney document, so the agent appointed is limited to the types of decisions you authorize them to make. Even in minor surgeries, if someone is anesthetized, something can happen, and the agent might need to consent to something. You can try and test fate, but wouldn’t it be nice to be on the safer side?
Without a medical power of attorney, if a patient needs medical treatments, there are state laws that determine who else may be on the list to give consent, such as a spouse, adult child, or relative. Do you want to let it to chance that this other person is readily identifiable and available?
In any local trauma bay at a DFW hospital, some people were doing simple, daily tasks, minding their own business, doing nothing wrong, and are now receiving urgent care and treatment for life-threatening injuries. It is so easy to prevent a family’s tragedy when we are prepared for emergencies.
Durable Power of Attorney for General Business – All Financial and Property Interests
A Durable Power of Attorney is used to make plans for the care of finances, property, and investments in the event one cannot conduct financial affairs on their own, for a certain reason. The Texas Estates Code authorizes an individual to appoint an agent as their representative to make handle their financial matters following the terms of the power of attorney which states what events must occur for the powers to be activated when the principal is unavailable. The document creating the power of attorney relationship includes the time specified, and the tasks to be carried out and once the condition of termination occurs, the principal dies, or the principal revokes the power of attorney, those power of attorney rights are terminated.
Let’s talk about jail for a moment, and while we know it would never happen to someone we know, it happens to everyone. There were 25,000 Texas drunk-driving crashes in 2021, and 24 percent of all traffic deaths were attributed to drunk driving.
Examples and Scenarios Where Everyone Benefits From Having Power of Attorney Documents:
• Heading Overseas for Vacation or Work Trip;
• Getting Older or Illness Requires Medical Care;
• Job Assignment Putting You in Risk of Harm, or Out of Town;
• Kids Going Off to College or Even Summer Camp;
• Parents who Want to Protect their Children if Something Happens;
• Upcoming Surgery, Even Routine Where Complications Could Arise;
• Being Responsible to Others or Business Obligations
The Barrows Firm Estate Planning Solutions Include Customized Power of Attorney Documents
Estate Planning Attorney Leslie Barrows has the benefit of many years in family practice, including juvenile law, criminal defense, and other legal arenas and she has seen some things in her career. This makes Attorney Barrows a uniquely experienced estate planning attorney who can customize your power of attorney documents to take effect when you chose, and include all the terms and provisions that buy you that peace of mind you and your family want. And when you use experienced legal counsel at the Barrows Firm in Southlake you know you will have answers to all your questions and power of attorney documents that are enforceable and effective in protecting your family when you cannot.
What Happens When You Die Without a Will in Texas? Get a Will, and Power of Attorney Documents
If you die in Texas, without a will, a Probate Court applies Texas Intestacy Laws and distributes your assets to your spouse and closest relatives. Depending on the Court, the property can be distributed directly by Court Order, or it can be sold and the money from the proceeds will be distributed to the next of kin as described in the intestacy statute.
If you die in Texas, without a will, the Court will determine who will take care of them and their inheritance, which will be held in a trust until they reach the age of majority. This is an important message to single parents with primary custody. Living non-primary parents are often the first in line to assert their parental rights and ask for sole conservatorship, which can trigger lawsuits among families.
Yes, family members can intervene in proceedings where someone dies without a will, but the Court is not bound to follow any of their requests. This is a preventable situation, and anyone living with or without children should get a will prepared and give their loved ones some peace of mind.
The Estate Planning Attorneys at the Barrows Firm Have Your Power of Attorney Document Solutions (817) 481-1583
All the [Want-to-Be] Single Ladies: Tips for Women Seeking A Divorce
Women Seeking A Divorce Get Tips for Becoming Single Ladies Again
At the Barrows Firm in Southlake, Attorney Leslie Barrows gets all kinds of calls and questions from women who want to know their rights and options in a Texas divorce. Sometimes they are planning well in advance, or just need to know where they stand if they get to the point where they cannot remain in the marriage any longer which is either toxically destructive to their health and well-being or their children. It is no surprise that many moms are on their way to becoming single ladies again.
Violence is unacceptable in any family, and nobody should allow themselves or their children to be victims of domestic violence. These are sensitive topics and we at the Barrows Firm are here to help people with safety concerns for themselves and their children. Never tolerate abuse. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 to speak with someone 24/7.
Please understand that you do not have to answer anyone but yourself when deciding whether to stay or leave your partner. And when we look at marriages as partnerships some chuckle and say they feel like theirs is more of a dictatorship. Looking at your life from the outside can look different from what you see on the inside.
“Can I do this and be better off, or am I compounding my problems?” many wonder. The truth is that every woman must make her own decision based on what she and her children need and want in life. These are very difficult decisions and many wives and mothers spend years analyzing their situations and testing their strengths, day by day. And when many get to a point they are comfortable getting out of a bad marriage, they start getting excited about becoming single ladies again.
Ladies, Do You Feel Like a Partner or Do You Function in a Role?
Being a partner in a marriage and a team player in a family is important and we all have our roles in families. There can be a balance of duties and responsibilities we decide to share, and there are times that we can make decisions without our spouse. That said, there needs to be a balance in a good relationship where both partners feel comfortable with being partners and making decisions together.
Going along with your husband because he’s your husband does not mean you are making decisions together if you don’t honestly agree on things. And by not saying anything until it comes up later in an argument, you are not being fair to yourself or him. When you know you want more of a say in things you need to communicate that fairly and honestly.
Marriage.com article: When a Woman Feels Neglected in a Relationship
Problems arise when your spouse is not interested in actually being a partner and you realize you have more of a role and set of expectations than anything else. That makes women feel like servants, not partners. Sometimes there is a personality disconnect that cannot be repaired. And sometimes we start learning more about the people we married and understand we are fundamentally incompatible at the core.
Your Kids’ Age May Affect Your Comfort Level Getting Divorced
When parents consider getting a divorce, the kids are the biggest issue, and it’s not only about who gets custody and control. Even if the statistics suggest that divorce is common, what matters to the children is feeling loved and supported no matter what. Women considering a divorce might be more inclined to stick it out for a longer time, hoping for improvement, because they believe the kids are not at the right age where they could handle divorce.
While there may be studies and data suggesting everything under the sun about when kids are ready to experience divorce in their family, it all depends on the individual. How the parents engage with their children is what matters and as well, as how peaceful and respectful they remain in front of them. And as the children generally are a little older and can take care of themselves for the most part, we see it more comfortable for women seeking a divorce. As well, mothers with very young children may be more comfortable with divorce when the kids are too little to know what is going on. Again, every family and situation is unique.
Women Can Change Their Course in Life and Seek Divorce for Different Reasons
People who are dating at different stages in life report they seem to change over time or that they have different interests. What we wanted and tolerated in our younger years might not stand the same as we grow older and gain life experience. There is nothing wrong with growing and maturing into a person who wants and expects more than people are giving them. Many women are seeking a divorce in Texas for this very reason. They have often raised their kids to the point they are okay and it is time for these women to focus on self-care, and sometimes that means divorce.
Psychology Today article: Why Women Are So Much More Likely to Seek a Divorce
We frequently hear these wives say positive things about their husbands while getting divorced. They say they are good fathers in many cases, and there are no shocking allegations of wrongdoing, rather they just grew apart. There’s no fault to be tied to admitting you are changing as a person and want different things and different people. It is a great thing when marriages end unfortunately but not acrimoniously. It is a good thing when mom and dad can move on from their marriage but still be good co-parents regardless of the age of the children.
Hiring a Divorce Law Firm with All Female Attorneys and Staff
Women understand why women divorce. At the Barrows Firm in Southlake, the attorneys and staff are all female and that matters to some women who are seeking a divorce and want to be represented by a law firm of attorneys and staff who are all ladies. What matters to a client approaching divorce and child custody is that they feel represented by professionals they can trust and with whom they can feel comfortable discussing sensitive topics.
What is the Divorce Process with the Barrows Firm in Southlake?
At the Barrows Firm, we sit down with women seeking a divorce, explain the divorce process in Texas, and find out what they want to achieve and what is most important in divorce. While it is different for everyone, some know exactly what they want and others are focused on being done and over with the process as soon as possible. Figuring out a middle ground and understanding a client’s comfort level is important in determining the best-case strategy and how to proceed. There are times to catch bees with honey, and other times more aggressive measures, so to speak.
Barrows Firm Paralegals are First Responders for Women Seeking Divorce
High-quality family law paralegals and staff are so very important to the experience when going through a divorce and child custody suit. The people who take your calls and answer many of your questions along the way are highly trained and experienced paralegals and support staff. Because we have a variety of cases indifferent stages, sometimes the attorneys are in hearings and trials and cannot respond to everything, so it is important to keep things moving at the necessary pace and that is where a high-functioning divorce litigation team is essential to success.
Women Seeking Divorce in Texas Trust The Barrows Firm in Southlake (817) 481-1583
When 50 Shades of Grey Becomes Blue Valentine: What Leads to Divorce
What Leads to Divorce in Texas Households when Reality Imitates 50 Shades of Grey and Blue Valentine
Like the iconic book and movie, 50 Shades of Grey, people are turned on by the thrill of a dramatic romance; also like the book and movie Blue Valentine, a romantic relationship can spiral out of control and which leads to divorce in Texas.
What happens when people no longer like their spouse? Many married couples admit some level of feeling disconnected from their spouse at times. Marriages take work, and date nights are important, to keep the thrill of romance alive. Along the way people make efforts at keeping the spark alive, sometimes mimicking themes in movies like 50 Shades of Grey. Sometimes those urges cause people to stray and wonder who else may be out there, and whether to stay in a marriage. Yes, you can love someone and no longer like them.
When couples start battling because they are boiling over internally, buttons and limits get pushed. People test boundaries and see what they can get away with, and sometimes it’s a cry for attention, and other times it’s a passive-aggressive declaration of war.
Southlake divorce attorney Leslie Barrows often hears clients report moving from wondering to knowing the marriage is over, often admitting to themselves a mix of causes leading to the breakdown. But when they are done, they are done.
People Live for Love and Passion, We Are Emotional Beings Sometimes Acting Irrationally
Intimacy is a feeling of security with love and passion, with our partner with whom we commit to share life and raise great families. Insecurity is a problem when we can no longer trust someone we gave our heart to. We live for love and passion, we watch romantic movies and look to live out the fantasy story we write in our heads. But when that intimacy is lacking and we start feeling alone and insecure, we can develop trust issues that cause us to question emotions, when emotions change.
Major life events can be a leading cause of relationship problems. When we expect our partner to respond as we want, we can be let down. How do we know whether we are the ones who are handling things wrong or whether our spouse is the problem? The reality is people change. Another reality is people mask and lie to themselves and others. Sometimes lifestyle changes like retirement cause people in long-term marriages to admit they no longer live in love and passion for one another. Lack of intimacy and major life events and lifestyle changes can lead to divorce.
The Thrill of Dramatic Romance: Do We Want What We Cannot Have?
Many fans of the 50 Shades of Grey movie were thrilled by a story of dramatic romance, the type most people do not experience, which begs the question for people who wonder who else may be out there. Do we have a soulmate, and is there only one soul mate for every person, these are common questions and themes in entertainment, leading us to often want what we perceive we cannot have.
Psych Central Article: Why Do We Want the People We Can’t Have? 9 Reasons
Sometimes we take what we can get thinking we can’t get what we want. Why do people limit themselves? Is it by the nature of their raising and experience growing up? Sometimes it takes people more time to come into themselves and knows who they are. Life events like the death of parents, job change, and relocation cause people to reinvent themselves and assert their independence. When we decide to go after what we thought we couldn’t have, we feel empowered to go after the thrill of dramatic romance, at any time in our life, and when the clock is ticking, some say that life is short, just get the divorce.
What Happens When We Get What We Want, and it Turns Out Wrong?
Buyer's remorse can be another problem when we decide to go for the person we were told to avoid. Stick to the reliable partner who will be there rain or shine, parents say, but sometimes we want to take risks and go for the people who turn us on and give us the rush of passion and good drama. But like in the Blue Valentine story, that passion and drama can turn around and bite us.
Love. Life. Practice. Be Careful What You Wish For: The Risk of Getting What You Want
Be careful what you wish for, you might just get it – good advice at times. Sometimes affairs are the product of wondering if the grass is greener somewhere else. Sometimes the grass appears greener, and we realize it is all an illusion. Sometimes people pursue passion and realize that satisfies an internal need. Sometimes people get burned in the process of putting passion first. Oftentimes, straying from a marriage brings a couple closer when they realize what they have was worth more than they knew.
Sometimes we convince ourselves that our problems are passion-oriented when the reality is a problem of people feeling secure. In marriage counseling, the insecurities people feel are more tied to the basics of life and rooted in financial matters. Even if we focus on passion, the underlying problem can be tied to financial insecurity, something few will readily admit.
Preparing Yourself to File for Divorce, Protecting Your Kids and Your Money
Whether underlying financial issues or the breakdown of a passionate relationship is what leads to divorce in Texas, it is important to hire the best family lawyer you can to protect your kids and protect your money. How you divorce depends on the circumstances, and when something serious happens, you need the best divorce lawyer who knows how to win.
Wall Street Journal: A High-Stakes Divorce Illustrates How the Rich Play Real-Estate Tug of War– story of a Houston billionaire accused of using complex webs of trusts and LLCs to prevent the wife from accessing cash or the 13 homes they acquired together!
Emergency relief may be available when you file for a divorce or protective order. Soon after a divorce is filed you may have a temporary orders hearing to determine where the kids go and who pays for what during the divorce. Often the temporary terms become permanent arrangements. The divorce and child custody process is different for everyone and what matters most is protecting your kids, your money, and your rights and options. Leslie Barrows and her team of attorneys and paralegals at the Barrows Firm in Southlake are there to guide you through the process and help you position yourself and your kids to win.
What Leads to Divorce, Leads Families to The Barrows Firm in Southlake (817) 481-1583
New Year, New Child Support Modification Case: Substantial Changes in Circumstance
A New Year, A New Child Support Modification Case When There is a Substantial Change in Circumstances
2023 is expected by many to be a year of change and new pursuits, and for parents with child support, the new year may be time for anew child support modification case. Child support orders are fixed in the amount and duration of payments, and it is necessary to file a new case to get a new order if there has been a substantial change in circumstances, making your case eligible for modification and new support and withholding orders.
The Logistics of Paying Child Support and Modifying the Amounts with Material and Substantial Changes in Circumstances
In Texas, initial child support orders are part of the Temporary Orders issued shortly after the divorce or custody case begins, and those are the first court orders that direct who goes where and who pays for what, including temporary child support. When the Court orders a child support obligor to make child support payments for a child, originally, or in a modification, there is usually a withholding order by the Court, directed to the payroll department of an employer to withhold the money to be collected and processed for distribution by the Texas Attorney General Child Support Division. There are many ways to pay child support in addition to wage withholding, as indicated on the Child Support Division’s website.
The parent or guardian receiving child support funds can do so through direct deposit to their bank or a Texas Payment Card issued by the Child Support Division. Depending on the Court’s order, the payments are received bi-weekly or monthly, in a lump sum.
To qualify for a modification to Court ordered child support, the petitioner filing the new lawsuit requesting the modification has the burden of proving that there has been a material and substantial change in circumstances, required to qualify for a modification.
Call Leslie Barrows at the Barrows Firm in Southlake to learn your rights and options in a new child support modification case. (817) 481-1583. Search for answers to more questions on our blog, searchable by category and keyword.
Child Support Guidelines and Statutory Increases
When the Court originally calculates child support and subsequently calculates a new child support amount in a child support modification case, the Texas Family Code’s child support guidelines are applied in most cases, unless there is a trial otherwise or the parties reach an agreement. The percentages of income used for support would only change if there are more or fewer children to be supported.
What may be different are the current income of the support obligor, and a change in the child support cap, the maximum amount of support to be ordered. The calculation process for child support, determines the net resources available for child support payments, considering earnings less standard deductions.
Maximum Amount of Child Support Obligation
Highly compensated child support obligors are liable for child support payments up and to a maximum ceiling amount, and that number is adjusted during Texas legislative sessions every six years, tracking inflation rates. In 2013 the maximum rate was capped at $8,550 monthly, which increased from $7,500. Next, in 2019, the adopted increased maximum rate became $9,220.
With the percentage of a payment obligation, there can be rare circumstances where Courts have ordered 20 percent plus an additional 5percent for each additional child. Depending on what is going on in your life and your children’s circumstances, the obligations can be addressed in your new child support modification case.
Child Support Modifications are New Lawsuits
Like the original lawsuit needed to be reviewed, signed, filed, and served upon the other party, so does a new child support modification case because it is a new lawsuit with the same people, but seeking a new child support order. The parties exchange discovery and have the opportunity to examine and exchange financial information and other relevant records and testimony in hearings and at trial. And while many modifications are settled by agreement of the parties, others have trials to determine new amounts. Be prepared, knowing this is more than just a casual trip to the courthouse.
Note the court with continuing, exclusive jurisdiction may modify an order that provides for child support, and it is not possible to appear before a new Court.
Eligibility for a Suit to Modify Child Support, a Material and Substantial Change in Circumstances
The grounds for modification of child support require either the proving of a material and substantial change in circumstances of the child or the person affectedby the child support order or when three years have passed and the child support award differs by 20 percent or $100 from the amount that would be awarded under the child support guidelines.
What some believe qualifies for an increase in support, may not be qualifying factors, such as the obligor having been voluntarily paying more than the required amount. Likewise, the income of a new spouse or the change in the standard of living of the obligor does not trigger an increase in the obligor’s child support obligation.
A New Child Support Modification of an Order Issued by Another State
Many who moved to Texas have child support orders issued by other states. Unless both parties and the child reside in Texas, a Texas court may not have jurisdiction to enter a new child support order. If everyone is here in Texas, the parties may petition a Texas Court to register that other state’s order here in Texas.
A Change in Physical Possession and a New Child Support Modification
The order for support for a child can be modified by a new order if the person has possession of the child for at least six months of the year. This may happen where the parent who is a sole-managing conservator or the joint-managing conservator with the right to choose possession, voluntarily relinquishes primary care and possession of the child, is sentenced for 90 days or more in jail, or otherwise relinquishes the care of the child in other circumstances.
With Issues and in Need of a New Child Support Modification, Contact the Barrows Firm in Southlake (817) 481-1583
New Year, New Beginnings: January is Divorce Month
New Year, New Beginnings: January is Divorce Month
“Never underestimate the power you have to take your life in a new direction.” – Germany Kent, one of the many New Year, New Beginnings quotes we can frame on a wall or put on a coffee cup. And while it may sound cliché, when we clear our minds and focus on the meaning of these inspirational quotes and how they can apply to us, we should feel empowered. The biggest obstacle to self-improvement is oneself and one’s fear of change. It is easier to tell ourselves we cannot do something than it is to tell ourselves we can do everything. It is like we are programmed for humility and staying in our place, but when we break through and have zero fear or insecurities, we can surprise ourselves.
Southlake divorce and family law attorney, Leslie Barrows, is often asked when and how it’s the best time and plan to get a divorce started. The answers are easier for some but for others, something happened that makes the matters urgent, and they need an aggressive attorney and advocate for their family.
Divorce cases filed in January outpace the busiest and hardest working court clerks because there are so many divorce and parentage cases filed in January. Why is January such a popular month for divorce? Were the holidays a significant factor in deciding to file? As many factors are weighing in one’s decision to file, there are good reasons January is a great time to get things going.
Get Answers to Frequent Texas Divorce Questions on our Blog
Psychology Today: 4 Expert Tips on Emotionally Preparing for Divorce
The Holidays Affect the Decision to Proceed with a Divorce in January
Christmas and New Year are the tests of patience for many folks in bad marriages, who need to file for divorce. The holidays and all the culture and events that come with them put people in good moods and they give us greater hope for the goodness in people until they don’t.
Talking to people and asking how their holidays were can be interesting when you know people in bad situations, and there are common stories people tell about why they are just done, and it’s time to get a divorce. Contrary to popular opinion, most people do try to fix broken relationships and get advice on how to work on saving a marriage. But sometimes all that effort just cannot repair something that is broken beyond the salvation point.
Got Questions About Mediation? See Our Page on Mediation in Texas
Back to School After Winter Break Gives Parents Time to Work on Divorce
January is a good time to get to work on divorce because there is not as much less on the calendar than in other busier months. When the kids go back to school, they are in fewer sports and activities than during the warmer months, and there are usually no big trips planned until Spring, so there are fewer distractions in January, making it easier to keep your mind focused on getting financial documents ready for your lawyers and working on discovery responses, and getting ready for your temporary orders hearing.
Before filing for divorce, a parent should think about their kids and school schedules. Know that changing where the kids are going to be and with which parent can be frustrating. If there is going to be an adjustment period, it might as well be something to get over with during the slower winter months.
The New Year is About New Beginnings Focusing on Work and Business Income
“I am doing what I want, and you can’t stop me,” some can say when it comes to making work and business decisions when they are in the driver's seat. Be mindful of any temporary orders and standing orders that affect work decisions, but otherwise take that opportunity and know that only you can write the next chapters in your life.
Indeed is a great place to jump-start your career and January is a great time to fill out your Indeed profile and adjust your settings to be open to receiving exciting career opportunities!
Controlling spouses often end up in a divorce case when the bullied spouse simply cannot take it anymore and they see an exit ramp from the marriage. It is common to hear a spouse talk about not being able to take advantage of opportunities because it disagreed with what their spouse wanted them to do, often including spending more time focused on family and the home. Then, when they file for divorce, people find their freedom and love being able to be their best.
Getting a Divorce Moving Before Spring Break is a Great Reason to File in January 9, 2023
Spring Break is a great motivator and you can use it as a goal to get through the busy part of starting a divorce and getting your ducks in a row. Not long after your divorce case is filed, your family lawyers at the Barrows Firm can get a Temporary Orders Hearing on the Court’s calendar, which determines who goes where and who pays for what during the divorce. In many cases and when kids are younger, the standard custody and visitation orders work just fine and they set in place where the kids go during holidays and spring break.
Check out the VRBO information and tempting article, Where to go for spring break in Texas.
The advantage of filing for divorce in January is being able to get in front of a judge for the Temporary Orders before Spring Break and Easter, so there is less to argue about, with an order in place that gives everyone a sense of certainty in an uncertain time of life.
Another Reason January is a Popular Time is That Outdated Possession Schedules Failed Over Christmas and New Years
A modification case or enforcement action is necessary when the current orders are not working anymore. Remember, co-parents, are not usually mandated to stick to the possession schedules and can trade time back and forth as they can agree. But, when being nice, sometimes the other abuses that grace and it is necessary to stick to the Court Ordered arrangements. And when those don’t work anymore it is time to get new orders or get the Court to help by enforcement of the existing orders.
Holiday schedules and busy family plans can test whether your current situation is still working when it comes to co-parenting and holiday custody and visitation issues. You know when it is time to make a change and what rises to the level of taking action in Court and through agreements.
New Years and New Beginnings Are Yours For the Taking, and When That Means Divorce, Call the Barrows Firm in Southlake (817) 481-1583
End-of-Year Estate Planning: Specific Reasons to Update Your Estate Plan
End-of-Year Estate Planning for All and to Everyone a Happy New Year!
The Christmas Season and New Year Holiday visiting means we get to catch up with family and chart our progress and among our list of things to discuss is end-of-year estate planning. The holiday season is when we remember and talk about people who have passed on and we cherish the memories we made. We also look around and celebrate the time we have with family and friends alive and well in our lives, what an amazing treasure life can be.
Even if you do not talk about all the points we raise in this short article, move the ball forward and feel good about that. Too many people wait until it is too late and end up not being able to communicate. At the Barrows Firm in Southlake, Estate Planning Attorney Leslie Barrows and her team help people create end-of-year estate planning that makes sense for everyone and provides peace of mind so you and your family can focus on creating and capturing memories and stories to live on.
Being prepared for situations you cannot personally handle because of temporary sickness, hospitalization, surgeries, or death, means your family and friends are considered in your absence. For your benefit and the benefit of others around you, it is good to not leave anyone in the lurch if the situation should arise. New Year's Eve is coming up, are you ready and prepared? What about your family? If you were unconscious and needed surgical decisions made, who has the legal authority to do so? If you cannot answer that question, and the person who would be asked does not know either, there is still work to do.
Specific Reasons to Update Your Estate Plan:
1. Marriage: You or a family member like your parent gets married for the first time or next time and they need to add their new spouse to their will, trust, beneficiary designations, and power of attorney documents.
2. Divorce: Just like a marriage, a divorce changes things and who we want to be listed on our estate planning documents, especially our living trust and life care documents.
3. New Baby Born: Whenever you have named children in legal documents and there is a newly born child, it is important to make updates to estate plans, and it gives opportunities to consider anything else that is happening that requires an update.
4. Adopted Children: Foster parents adopting children forever is a wonderful moment and a cause to update estate plans and ensure that adopted children are named and included.
5. Moving: Whether you are the one moving, or a family member is moving, there can be a reason to change your plans based on logistics and what makes sense for everyone in your family. It is common for families to plan on living with aging relatives to provide care, and that might warrant some additional estate planning considerations.
6. Extended Family: If one of your children marries, divorces, or has some significant life event that affects the family, it is appropriate to update wills, trusts, and other estate planning documents accordingly. Life happens and people can change.
7. Retirement: We spend time planning for retirement and when it happens, the circumstances around us can be different from what we expected. When celebrating retirement, remember to make necessary end-of-year estate planning updates as well.
U.S. News: 10 Ways to Celebrate Your Retirement
Taking Time to Talk to Family About Wills, Trusts, and Power of Attorney Issues
When mom decides that the eldest son is no longer the be stone to be the executor of her will, she thinks it makes sense to appoint the son who lives closest. But when mom thought about her healthcare power of attorney, she made no changes. If a mom fails to communicate her intentions to her children, they could face unnecessary problems and conflict over what the mom wanted. While mom is alive and well, she should tell her kids what her plans are so there are no surprises later.
Does mom need to discuss every detail about her intentions? Certainly not. If mom wants to give more to one or the other, she may want to keep that information private for the rest of her life. We never know until some pass along that their last will and testament is different from what was expected and that is simply part of life.
Discussing Where Aging Parents Plan to Live During their More Dependent Years
Part of end-of-year estate planning and growing up is becoming a caretaker for elders and parents who once cared for your every need. Everyone’s situation is different and if you think you can prepare for all life’s twists and turns, you might face all kinds of surprises. Especially if aging parents are still living in their family home, they might need some extra help now and then. Keep an eye on things and keep an open dialogue about how things are going and when mom or dad needs too much help it may be time to move to a new place better suited to give that help. Alternatively, home health options and family moving in or spending more time there might be the answer.
Plan to keep working a little on the side? That’s common because people like being productive: Learn more from Ameriprise Financial about Working in retirement.
The sooner people have these difficult discussions, the better they are prepared to relate back later and recall what was discussed and whether those plans still stand. Be sensitive to aging people who have lived proud independent lives, and who might find it upsetting to need help. Be kind and patient. The days you now perceive as difficult will soon be missed.
The Role of the Executor and Sharing Estate Planning Intentions with Family and Interested Persons
Appointing an executor is important and it is something that can change. Making an estate plan is like any other plan, it can change. And when it makes sense to do something one way at one point in time, is something that should be changed if the circumstances become significantly different. If your eldest child is your executor and he or she moves across the country, it might be necessary to change your will and estate planning documents to reflect another closer-living child or designated representative to serve in that role, when appropriate.
Updating Estate Planning as Part of End-of-Year Personal Business
Consider additional changes in life circumstances that affect not only wills and trusts but also the power of attorney documents for healthcare and business purposes. Consider the named beneficiaries of insurance policies and bank accounts.
Learn more on our website: Becoming Executor of a Family Member’s Estate: Avoiding Will Contests and Litigation in the Future
Buying Cemetery Property Now or Later: Planning for a Future Burial
If your family has not made plans for funerals and burial, now is the time. Planning now for peace of mind is the focus at North Texas Slay Memorial Funeral Home. Their website section on how to plan ahead helps families discuss and take action. Financial planning should include paying for funerals, burials, monuments, cremation, and other services for the family when your loved one passes.
End-of-year estate planning and financial planning for families can give everyone peace of mind knowing exactly where services will beheld and where final resting places will be. There might also be a previously purchased funeral property that might need to be changed if people now have different plans, such as no longer wanting to be buried and desiring to sell currently owned cemetery plots.
For referrals to end-of-life professionals for funeral services and other family business services, the Barrows Firm can offer great referrals all over North Texas and the Southlake area.
Make an Appointment for End-of-Year Estate Planning at the Barrows Firm in Southlake (817) 481-1583
Top 5 Christmas and Holiday Visitation Tips for Parents
Christmas and Holiday Visitation Tips for Parents who Want Successful Holidays
Goals for the rest of December and early January should include some level of peace and tranquility during Christmas and holiday visitation, so families can get along and make lasting memories. Children grow up quickly and before we know it, they are off to lead their own lives. As parents, we have a limited number of Christmas and holiday seasons with our kids to take family photos, share stories, and experiences, and appreciate one another. Even during the acrimonious time of divorce and child custody suits, we must find a way to get along and for a while, put on a smile and enjoy the joys of the season.
Being proactive is important and so is communicating well with co-parents. Know what your court order says about holiday possession and where the kids are supposed to be. If you know of a conflict, say something early to figure out a solution to avoid disagreements. Kids will be getting out of school with early dismissals and more options to juggle parenting time. When it’s necessary and there is no other agreement among co-parents, refer to the Standard Possession Order (SPO) which is the basis of your custody and parenting plans.
Sometimes we find the plans that used to work just fine are no longer workable for everyone involved and that is a normal thing that happens as families grow. At the Barrows Firm in Southlake, Attorney Leslie Barrows and her team, work with families who need to modify or enforce their existing court orders, much of which can be done through agreements or contested hearings and trials if necessary. Remember to always put the best interests of children first and foremost. They only have one shot at growing up with a happy childhood.
Top 5 Tips for Peace and Tranquility with Christmas and Holiday Visitation:
Please follow our “Top 5 Tips” and be ready to celebrate Christmas and the holiday season with your family and friends, making loving memories. If anything goes wrong, take good notes!
1. Check Your Holiday Possession Schedules and Court Orders
Court orders regarding Christmas custody usually follow the standard holiday visitation used in the widely used Standard Possession Order, giving parents alternating major holidays. There are also custom parenting plans that follow some of the standard order and have additional custom arrangements for parenting time, including Christmas visitation. These custom orders often address special concerns such as international travel and any conditions of travel and with whom the children will be spending the holidays.
USState Department: InternationalTravel and Tips to Prevent an Abduction from Occurring
Forexample, a custom court order and parenting plan might include language thatsays no significant others shall attend holiday events without the expresswritten consent of the other parent. And while some co-parents use specific parentingplans, others just wing it and fall back on their court-ordered custody plansonly when necessary, or when there is a conflict. Conflicts often arise whenthings have been going smoothly and one of the parties introduces new peopleinto the mix, and that often stirs up issues and drama. How we deal with surprisescan set the tone for future situations.
2. Standard Possession Orders for Christmas 2022
Co-parents using an SPO for Christmas custody should be prepared for the kids to go with the non-custodial parents this year because 2022 is an even-numbered year with Christmas possession beginning at 6 p.m. the day school is dismissed for Christmas vacation, and visitation continues through the Christmas holiday until Noon, on December 28, 2022.
On Even years when the parent with possession and access has the kids over Christmas, the primary parent should have had the kids on Thanksgiving and New Year's Eve, when following the SPO. If there is some sort of hiccup in scheduling and planning busy schedules, do not delay in asking the other parent or any others involved to adjust schedules and plans before things get underway. Be nice and trade a day or two here or there to accommodate if possible.
3. Early School Dismissals Affecting Work Schedules and Parenting Time
If this paragraph applies to you, please open a new browser tab, and google when your kids’ schools are dismissing them early. In Texas, early dismissal happens the week before Christmas break and the kids only go for half days. Here, in the Southlake area Carroll ISD Christmas early dismissal days are December 16and 17. Some schools only dismiss early on the Thursday and Friday before Christmas break, while others dismiss early on additional days, like Denton ISD where the kids are out early December 13-16.
Entertainment Calendar: Dallas Kids Out and About
Is early release from school going to be a problem for picking up the kids, arranging childcare if necessary, or adjusting your work schedule? We are all busy this time of year but the sooner we catch these schedule conflicts the better we can adjust and make a deal to get everyone where they need to be to enjoy Christmas and the holidays without animosity because someone is fighting over parenting time, pick-ups, and drop-offs.
4. Addressing Disagreements Over Holiday Visitation and Family Plans
Is it worth calling your lawyer and going to court? It might be. If you need court intervention, now is the time or your judge may be unavailable and unimpressed by the late objection to holiday visitation plans. If for some reason you anticipate a problem, or the co-parenting situation feels stressed, make good notes of communication, and be prepared to play your best hand if necessary.
Common disruptions to plans include new family members and those who are scarcely available due to travel, age, and situation. If this might be the last year grandmother can fly to Texas for Christmas from out of state, and everyone is going to be there for a related family celebration like an engagement or wedding, it might be worth a contested court hearing to make it happen. Concerns for international travel, health, and medical safety are also frequent reasons parents seek court intervention over the holidays.
5. Make it Nice for the Children and Consider Their Best Interests First
If you have reduced bandwidth for bad behavior and drama, and things are beginning to boil, the Barrows Firm can help get things simmered down to avoid a full holiday meltdown. Being reasonable is something expected in reasonable situations. What is reasonable might be subjective depending on family dynamics, but know that if a battle ensues, your definition of “reasonable” is subject to holiday scrutiny.
Resource Article: Putting Others First is Healthy if You Do it the Right Way
Make it nice for the children and don’t let them see you stress or fight with the other parent. Keep your cool and be a good Mr. or Mrs. Santa and keep that Christmas smile, especially around your kids, even if you think you are going to spin off the planet, because just before you know it, New Year's Day will be here, and2023 will surely entertain us with new reasons we can joke about turning the clock back. Again, be nice and always consider the best interests of children first and foremost because they will look back on their childhood holidays for the rest of their lives, and you are responsible for making these holidays memorable, hopefully in the best ways possible.
Call the Barrows Firm for Christmas and Holiday Visitation Help at (817)481-1583
Estate Planning and Adopting the Child of a Relative
Estate Planning is Necessary When Adopting the Child of a Relative in Texas
If a relative has a child and they cannot perform their parental duties and there is no other parent, a relative is often the next best choice in adopting the child of a relative, and in this article, we focus on estate planning. Because Texas laws regarding wills, trusts, and estates follow state laws regarding parental rights, it is necessary to establish the adoptive rights of a relative no longer in the care of the natural parents. When the adoption takes place it is important to take action on proper estate planning to protect the best interests of the child.
The relative adopting the child of another family member can include that adopted child along with any natural-born children, in their wills, estate plans, and power of attorney and healthcare directives and documents.
Estate Planning Attorney Leslie Barrows works with families in the adoption and estate planning processes to protect families in Southlake and all over DFW.
Find more articles in the adoption section of the Barrows Firm blog!
Estate Planning Tools for Relative Adoptions
The goal of estate planning is to pass along assets, money, and property to family members directly without being directed through the formal court processes and procedures, being taxed along the way. One way to pass along ownership to another is to own things jointly, which often requires a legal document to establish. It is common to add people as named owners on joint bank accounts, for example, and when one passes, the other assumes full ownership without any additional operation of law.
Tools for planning to pass along wealth include trusts and wills. Put money aside in a trust for the benefit of children’s education, including newly adopted relative children. Assign a trustee who can make good decisions and protect everyone from making short-sighted decisions with money.
Estate planning tools for relative adoptions also include important healthcare and business directives and powers of attorney so that one family member can make decisions on behalf of another if the original is temporarily incapacitated or unavailable, such as in the case of surgery requiring anesthesia. Additionally, titling and registering vehicles when children are away at school is another example of when a power of attorney is useful.
Adopting Children and Welcoming Them Among Family
Building strong and loving families is a challenge. Parents and children experience new additions to families in their ways. Young kids sometimes get jealous when mom has another baby and the attention focus shifts. As children learn new roles and carve out their independence and individualism, everyone grows together, yes the family grows as a collective sum of its members.
Learn more about placing children for adoption, and adopting at the Fort Worth Gladney Center for Adoption
Therefore, adding the next child who may be an adopted child, should be no different than the new baby scenario. However, things are unique when the new baby isn’t a baby and is already part of the family as a relative. Can it all be somewhat confusing? Yes. At the end of the day does everyone love each other and is that the most important thing? Yes again.
Wills and Trusts Serving the Needs and Desires of Families
Providing money and security for the future and the best interests of family members is the objective of will and trust plans for growing families. The needs and desires of people change over time as circumstances also change, some of which are out of our control. While we may desire to safeguard money to provide for college education, a child’s life path might be different, and they could have different needs that do not include higher education expenses. Therefore, it becomes important to set up wills and trusts to serve the needs and desires of families with flexibility and proper judgment, and guidance.
The best interests of adopted relative children are furthered by naming them as takers in a will that must be updated to include a newly adopted child that is not otherwise assumed to be an heir. Always make sure every estate planning document is reviewed to determine if it needs to be amended to include any later-born or adopted children.
Including Adopted Special Needs Children in Estate Planning
In certain circumstances, parents do not maintain parental rights of special needs children and relatives end up adopting the child with special needs. Estate plans can include a special needs trust that covers the direction and control of money provided for the care of special needs trustees. When caretakers are adopted relatives, they can operate as special needs trustees over the funds received from public or private funding sources that cover the additional costs and needs families may incur when they have natural and adopted young and adult children with special needs.
Read our related article, Divorce with Adult Special Needs Children
Avoid Conflicts Among Grandparents and Relatives
Grandparents have special relationships with their grandchildren and that should not be disrupted by the process of adoption and estate planning. If the grandparents are on the father’s side and the mother is the one who is no longer going to be the primary parent, and a relative adoption is in place, it is important to consider the other set of grandparents on the birth father’s side.
Finding ways to include and facilitate a family role for everyone is a great challenge to have, especially when there are so many children with fewer family members in their lives. When avoiding conflicts, we can look at ways to include people as decision-makers and providers, without creating a situation where anyone is going to be in direct conflict with one another.
Whether and How to Best Notify Family Members of Estate Plans and Intentions
Every family is different and knows what is expected. Parents in the control and direction of their children, natural born and adopted, should be recognized as primary decision makers with good intentions. Even if we question the intentions of others in our extended families, we should appreciate boundaries and when to hold the line and not cross it.
What to say: 8 Better Ways to Deliver Good News to a Loved One
When parents notify family members of things that happen, they include others, implicitly recognizing their importance as people who receive key information about the family. Sometimes the very mention that, for example, you adjusted your wills, trusts, and power of attorney documents is helpful to signify to other family members that you cared enough to tell them. Sometimes they just want to know they are thought of and included. People all have some level of concern that their other family approves of them, and it is just that easy to let someone know you care.
Talk to Attorney Leslie Barrows about ideas on how to talk to family members and present sensitive information in a way that everyone can appreciate the process and feel good about reducing uncertainty. And it doesn’t mean you have to spill all the tea, just let them know it’s taken care of.
Estate Planning and Adopting the Child of a Relative: Get More Information at the Barrows Firm in Southlake (817) 481-1583
Lack of Intimacy and Divorce: Major Life Events and Lifestyle Changes
Lack of Intimacy and Divorce: Arising Out of Major Life Events and Lifestyle Changes
Lack of intimacy and divorce are problems for people experiencing major life events and lifestyle changes that challenge their status quo. Major life events and stressors can disrupt people. When some people can adapt and function well, other people might stop and consider changing paths over a lack of intimacy and divorce.
Without adding negative judgment or stigma, people can accept that life can change, and people can change. Whether we are flexible and self-aware to the point we can adapt when major life changes disrupt intimacy and marriage.
Health: 7 Life Events That Can Lead to Divorce
Can lack of intimacy be fixed? Of course! There are plenty of times that we need time to ourselves to adapt to life and we might be less intimate. Or there could be a direct problem we have with ourselves or our partner that runs deep and needs addressing. Every marriage is unique and unpacking stress from life and busy families can help or hurt situations. Sometimes we start waking up to the reality that we are different people and it change is overdue.
See our article: Divorcing a Gambling Addict: All Bets are Off
When intimacy problems are beyond repair and the marriage relationship is over, divorce can be amicable or challenging. At the Barrows Firm in Southlake, Leslie Barrows is an experienced and, when necessary, aggressive family law trial lawyer with the right strategy and team for winning results when it matters most.
Major Events and Lifestyle Changes Affecting Intimacy in Marriage and Lead to Divorce
Families experiencing a new birth, marriage, divorce, or death in the family are usually operating under significant stress. People are on their toes and full of emotions with hyper-awareness of themselves and others getting used to a major life event. Sometimes major events are planned, and everyone has been building with anticipation, and other times big changes come out of nowhere and nobody is prepared. Unexpected lifestyle changes and trauma affect intimacy in marriage and lead to divorce.
Psychology Today: Are You Missing Intimacy? Discover Why and What It Requires
Trauma triggers different emotions in people and intimacy in a marriage can easily be interrupted. When someone doesn’t feel safe, they might reach out more, and some shut off and become withdrawn. While taking time to heal and be alone, all sorts of thoughts and emotions may lead people to confusion about what they want and where they are in life. The last thing anyone should do is try to force another to feel a certain way, if at all.
Job changes and contested financial problems can lead to intimacy problems. One spouse could be mad at the other over small things that become bigger problems over time. When one spouse is a saver and the other a spender, fights erupt when there’s a financial emergency and stress over money. Is it all about the money? Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no.
When Children Move Away, Empty Nesters Have Different Responses
What now? When raising children your every moment seems spent focused on others until one day it appears you have time and space to yourself again. When one thinks intimacy may no longer be a concern, it maybe come a major concern for different reasons.
Psycom: The Psychology of Divorce and the Pursuit of Happiness
How do we adjust when we are no longer required to live in the role of parent from day to day? The empty nest experience can also cause people to stop and consider their age and health. Do they like what they see in the mirror or do they want to make some personal changes?
When living with your spouse and operating in a parent role for so many years, it can be easy to become more like roommates and coworkers than lovers. When the spark is not there, and the spark is difficult to reignite, intimacy problems create emotions and anxiety with one or both partners.
Health and New Lifestyles Impacting Intimacy
Especially in recent years, we are increasingly aware of the importance of good health and fitness for longevity and disease prevention. When people decide to change some habits and get healthy, they may realize a few unintended consequences that affect relationships with others, affecting intimacy and sometimes leading to divorce. If for example, one spouse makes significant changes to diet and habits, the other may be left behind. The new healthy lifestyle choices may not be in favor of the other spouse, so they decide to engage in different activities. It all seems fine and well until they start figuring out that some of the vices in common were more instrumental to the relationship than anticipated.
Is alcohol a problem? Read our article: Court-Ordered Alcohol Testing: Soberlink and EtG Testing
When new sobriety is a lifestyle change, the new life new lease on life one finds, might not include their partner, especially when they realize they were more drinking buddies than anything else. Among various substance users who quit, a common underpinning theme is figuring out why they were using substances to the point of addiction. And when figuring out the underlying problems, intimacy with our partners can suffer.
Waking Up to a Midlife Epiphany
At times we spend more time reflecting on ourselves and our lives. Sometimes when we question whether we are truly happy, we feel bored or anxious. A sense of wanderlust can develop in life. The list of things we wish we would have done when we were younger starts to pop up more frequently.
Often with empty nesters wanderlust can emerge, tempting people to try new things, live in new places, and do different things to earn money or spend their time and resources. Life is short and even though it might not have been in our plans, we never know when that day will come, we just need to make a change. And it is important to note that needing change does not always mean that we no longer love our spouse or need them in our lives, maybe we just no longer need to be married.
Lack of Intimacy Leads to Cheating
When your spouse does not appear interested, we might be more inclined to feel appreciated by someone who is interested and finds us attractive. Sometimes major events and lifestyle changes that disrupt intimacy can lead to an emotional affair, where nothing physical happens, but romantic feelings can develop. And even if temporary or a short-term fling, the very intention of cheating is enough for some to put thoughts in motion that lead to the outcome that it is time to end the marital partnership.
Some theorize that people who cheat want to get caught. Maybe it is easier to get caught cheating than to admit you are no longer interested in being intimate with your spouse. As noted earlier, the pursuit of attention from others can be what someone is looking for when they stray, and they never physically engage with another. However, as many agree, the effort, feelings, and intention that goes on with a romantic affair can be just as damaging and lead to a lack of intimacy and divorce.
Lack of Intimacy and Divorce Questions? Talk to the Family Lawyers at Barrows Firm in Southlake (817) 481-1583
Verbal and Emotional Abuse in Texas Divorce and Family Law
Verbal and Emotional Abuse: Mistakes to Avoid in Texas Divorce and Custody Cases
Experienced Texas divorce and custody lawyers will tell you that they are used to seeing good people going through some of the most challenging experiences in their lives. When people say they are not usually this upset, or the things said about them are untrue or out of character, we understand the human condition and focus on balancing humanity and well-being with the legal process of a Texas divorce or child custody case. When it comes to matters of the heart, expect everything to be played to win. But when verbal and emotional abuse is alleged and found, things change quickly, and the effects can be long-lasting.
Especially in situations involving domestic and family violence, people rely on our civil courts and judges to help us with Temporary Orders, Orders of Protection, and relief often including exclusive possession of the marital residence during the pendency of the suit.
Read Our Barrows Firm Article: Protective Orders in Texas for Family Violence and Domestic Violence Regardless of Filing for Divorce
When the other party is served with papers, and or notified by their lawyer of allegations of domestic and or family violence, the battle begins. At the very suggestion, some puff up and react with grandiosity and counterattacks of mental instability and whatever else could discredit verbal and emotional abuse allegations. It is important to stay calm and not panic. Let the other side make a big show and know that the judges and professionals involved have seen it all before, often seeing right through the smoke and mirrors. Attorney Leslie Barrows is an aggressive and experienced trial lawyer in Texas divorce and custody cases, and she knows exactly how to effectively approach sensitive situations and win.
What Constitutes Verbal and Emotional Abuse in a Family?
Verbal abuse often includes insults, humiliation, ridicule, control, and silence, all effectively isolating the person and maintaining ultimate control over them. The offending party in these situations might also be accused of narcissistic behavior. A common element of which is the exertion of control over another. Verbally abusive people may not intend to do harm, and the source could be deep psychological problems some argue are not their fault. But that does not make it okay to treat someone with verbal or emotional abuse. Spouses and children can be deeply impacted and show short- and long-term damage from domestic and family violence, regardless of whether it becomes physical.
WebMD: Signs of Verbal Abuse (Emotional and Verbal Abuse)
Emotional abuse and passive-aggressive behavior are damaging in a family. When a spouse is exceedingly critical and judgmental, manipulative, and dismissive, one might start to withdraw and shut down. Anyone told they are less than or less able, can start to believe it. Importantly, we must remember that it is not our fault that another person seeks to use us for abuse for them to feel better. And while so many spouses work tirelessly, at some point they must accept their limitations. We can’t fix the other person as much as we may want to. And they might get help later and be much better, but in the meantime, we must save ourselves and our kids. Especially when raising children, every moment counts, and children need to feel safe and loved. They pick up on it when daddy isn’t nice to mommy and vice versa.
Review Our Article: CPS Investigations During a Divorce – Remember that domestic and family violence allegations will almost certainly involve some level of involvement with CPS and it is important to work with an experienced family lawyer and protect yourself and your children.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Every month, every week, day, hour, and minute there is someone at risk of being victimized. Orders of protection have value, but they can’t stop a bullet. Several years ago, in Fort Worth, there was a news story of a wife who did everything right but still lost her life, shot dead at a stoplight. In the age of tracking and technology, making a clean break and being able to disappear and still, complete daily tasks has become challenging.
People need to hear the grim reality and awful stories, because too many suffer in silence, and they don’t get out before it’s too late. The longer someone stays with a verbal and emotional abuser, the worse it can get, as the aggressor develops a greater sense of power and control.
Pay attention to your friends who seem isolated, who have seemingly been kept away, because there might be a very good reason that they are not telling you. They might be convinced nothing is wrong, but they can only lie to themselves for so long. Plant a seed if it helps, let family and friends know they can confide in you, and share information with them about domestic and family violence.
Emergency Protective Orders and Safety of the Family
In a Texas divorce and custody case where someone leaves the other after a family violence situation, a protective order is frequently requested and granted, on an emergency and temporary basis, to protect the victim, and the family. In the same order, the court may grant exclusive possession of the marital residence as well as property including financial accounts, to help maintain the status quo while the case gets underway. The aggressor, subject to the order, must stay away, not carry a firearm, and not contact anyone named in the order.
If someone violates a temporary restraining order, protective order, or any similar order or law, call 911 and notify law enforcement, who may arrest and take the violator to jail.
Proving Emotional Abuse Allegations in Texas Divorce and Custody Suits
In a Texas divorce and child custody suit, the victim of emotional abuse allegations can seek more or sole custody of the children, a greater share of the marital property, contribution to attorney’s fees, and other property as allowed by the Texas Family Code. In hearings and trials, most notably at the initial Temporary Orders Hearing, the family lawyers for the parties will present evidence to prove their allegations.
Evidence of emotional abuse and family violence may include police reports, electronic communications, eyewitness testimony, and more forms of personal knowledge of the facts alleged to support the allegations in the case. When mental health professionals are involved in contested child custody cases, they conduct investigations and make reports and findings for the court’s review. The process can become quite protracted, and generally, people should be cautious about balancing rational issues of safety and the emotionally driven quest for vengeance.
Leslie Barrows has spent countless hours in mediations, depositions, hearings, and trials on issues that can be best addressed with the right litigation strategy. In high-stakes divorce and custody, experience matters, and having the best family lawyer you can find, is important, to get things done right the first time so you can focus on family and the future.
Can Co-Parenting Happen Following Family Violence Allegations and Findings?
How can you expect me to talk to the person who nearly killed me and my kids? Unfortunately, some people have received tone-deaf advice when it comes to co-parenting with abusers. If you are at the point where you have a lawyer, you know you can’t get anywhere with your soon-enough-to-be-ex, then co-parenting is probably out the window.
Well, why it is true you might never want to see or communicate live with the other person, it is possible to exchange information through professionals and by using great resources for families like the Our Family Wizard app and website, designed for difficult custody situations. Check the article we wrote about it, Custody Logs and Our Family Wizard in Divorce and Child Custody Cases.
An experienced divorce and custody lawyer knows how to help craft a parenting plan that works and is sensitive to the needs of a parent who has been victimized. Leslie Barrows frequently speaks on complex issues like this. Watch Blended Families and Litigation with Leslie Barrows on Blended Kingdom Families.
How Can People Prepare to Safely Leave Verbal andEmotional Abusers?
The moment the alleged abuser finds out they have been served or simply that the other has left them, the reaction period begins, and it can be bad, even deadly. It is a matter of life or death, so take it very seriously when leaving an abuser. Having the plan to leave takes some time and help from people who know how it works best, to keep family and abuse victims safe from further harm. Don’t wait until it’s too late. For help with leaving verbal and emotional abusers, contact us anytime at the Barrows Firm.
Protect the Family from Verbal and Emotional Abusers with Family Lawyers at the Barrows Firm in Southlake (817) 481-1583
Answers to Frequent Texas Divorce Questions
Answers to Frequent Texas Divorce Questions Empower Families to Take Next Steps
Frequent Texas divorce questions are about what happens to children, property, and families in a Texas divorce. From deciding to file for divorce to exchanging discovery, attending mediation, and preparing for settlement or trial, Attorney Leslie Barrows and her team at the Barrows Firm in Southlake answer frequently asked questions about what happens when families divorce in Texas. In this article, we appreciate the opportunity to share some of the common responses to questions and issues that arise in a Texas divorce and child custody case. It is imperative to explain to people that every family is unique, and people have different needs, so do not compare your situation or family to others.
A winning strategy in any divorce or family law matter is to set the family in the best position possible to achieve all their hopes and dreams with the least amount of acrimony and drama over the difficulties families may experience with one another. Let us not forget that divorce is a serious life-changing event for everyone in the family and it is not something to approach lightly. How the entire process is handled is so important because it should set everyone up for success.
Successful families facing challenges in divorce and child custody appreciate the value of hiring the best legal counsel and representation to protect the family and set everyone in place well, attending to the best interests of the children and as well the esteem and positive mental states of the parents.
Search, Find, and Read the Barrows Firm Blog
Deciding to File for a Divorce in Texas
Where can I file for a divorce, and what if I move during the divorce?
Most people who file for divorce have lived in their home for the required time of 90 days in their current county and six months in the State of Texas, and that is what is necessary for the local district court to have jurisdiction over a divorce in the county where you are going to file. Sometimes there are jurisdictional issues, and we handle them as they arise, and at times cases are withdrawn, refiled, or transferred if appropriate.
Mediate.com Article – Are You Really Ready for Divorce? The 8 Questions You Need to Ask
Does it matter who files it, and what if I need it filed to stay in the home?
There is a difference of opinion on whether the person who files, being the Petitioner, has any advantage in their divorce. It truly depends on the facts and circumstances, and how things go. However, in cases of domestic and family violence, the Petitioner has access to an emergency hearing for Protective Order and they may seek exclusive possession of the marital residence as well. In cases where the spouse has less access to money to leave the marital home and temporarily live somewhere else, the court can provide temporary relief and a temporary court order about who goes where and who pays what expenses during the divorce.
How do I leave an abuser and get family violence help?
October is domestic violence awareness month, and we should pay close attention to the sensitive needs of the victims of domestic and family violence and abuse. There are all types of situations where people are threatened and harmed and too often outsiders never know. Deciding to leave is scary for many and it takes serious planning and proper execution. In any situation where someone is being hurt or fears imminent harm, call 911.
Hiring a Family Lawyer and Preparing for Divorce
What should I look for in a family lawyer?
Divorce and child custody matters are some of the most important challenges we face. Hire the best family lawyer you can find and get ready to fight for the best results to position you and your family for success. An experienced divorce attorney who practices in daily high-stakes divorce and custody cases knows how to get you where you need to be in negotiating and settling your contested issues. And when it is necessary to go to trial, an aggressive divorce lawyer is necessary. The wise person spends there sources to get it done right the first time. Set the tone and pace of your future in co-parenting and giving your children the best life.
What if my spouse hires a big family law firm and has more money?
It’s a common threat in divorce litigation to outspend the other party so they cannot keep up in a divorce and custody trial. Bullies have been puffing their chests since the beginning of time, and the sophisticated divorce lawyers people trust know exactly what to do with opposing parties and opposing counsels who just want to play games and burn up your money. Interim fee petitions are there to level the playing field when one spouse needs access to marital funds to fund litigation. Also, contributions to attorneys’ fees can keep the other side in check when they are committed to harassment.
How can I prepare my information for my divorce attorney to save resources?
Be organized and able to explain your finances, healthcare, childcare, parenting, and other elements of life that are issues in divorce and custody matters. Prepare financial statements in orderly collections of information and present them to your family lawyer electronically or in a binder, or, however. Think about how you want your attorney and team to spend their time, and the more time they can spend on the most important issues, the better.
What Happens to Children During a Divorce?
How soon can we get a Temporary Order for the children?
If your case gets to the judge on an emergency basis, for example, in a protective order hearing, such as in a domestic violence situation, the temporary orders state what happens to the kids and who pays for expenses. In the regular course of a divorce case, the temporary orders hearing can happen within a few weeks of filing, and if some of the uncontested issues can be resolved in advance, more time at the limited temporary orders hearing can be used on the hotly contested issues.
Very Well Family Article – The Psychological Effects of Divorce on Children
Who pays for what bills and childcare expenses?
At the temporary orders hearing the court hears from the parties and their attorneys about the pending issues and any of their immediacy in nature. The court’s order often includes standard instructions to maintain the status quo and not disturb any of the community property and money in accounts outside of the normal expenses. At times there are decisions to make and things that must happen before anyone has a chance to get to their lawyer or court, and it becomes helpful to maintain records and a journal of questions and issues that may arise. Keep good records.
Are my kids going to be involved in the process?
It depends on the situations and contested issues in a child custody case, for example, to determine whether the children are involved in the litigation process. There may be a mental health professional working on a custody evaluation and report which can involve interviewing a child. But the dramatic scenes we see in movies of children on witness stand picking which parent they want to go with, that is more for television than what happens in real life. A judge may interview a child in chambers, and it all depends on the situation.
Community Property Valuation and Division in Texas Divorce
Does community property mean everything is split 50/50?
Community property in Texas is all the property that was acquired by the parties during the marriage. All other property is considered separate property. The property people bring to the marriage can be kept separate and distinct from community property. Inherited money or property is an example of what may be separate property not subject to division. The Texas Family Code talks of division based on what is right and just, and in many cases that means 50/50, but that is something that can vary based on the allegations and situations. Findings of family violence, for example, can affect property distribution.
Can I keep the house and give my spouse a greater share of other assets?
Selling everything and splitting cash down the middle is the simplest example of property division, but that’s not what happens. Sure, the house can be ordered for sale, but otherwise one of the spouses may want to stay in the house and that might mean they accept a lesser share of other assets to make equitable distribution possible. Especially considering real estate markets, decisions on buying and selling are best determined on a case-by-case basis.
What happens to debts where my spouse and I are both liable?
In a Texas divorce, debt incurred during the marriage is subject to equitable division just like the assets and in most cases, the parties will share equal responsibility for the debt, unless there is an agreement otherwise. It does not matter which spouse incurred the debt, just like it does not matter which spouse earned the income, community property rules apply to both. And likewise, debt that is kept separate, and debt incurred before the marriage may be considered separate and not to be assigned to the other spouse in the divorce. When negotiating property division, the debts and partial equity in assets are all valued for division.
Establishing Necessary Child and Spousal Support
Who gets spousal support in Texas divorce?
If spouses have been married for at least ten years and the person requesting support is not able to earn enough income to meet their basic needs, they can qualify for spousal support, also called spousal maintenance or alimony informally.
Is there a maximum amount of spousal support in Texas?
Maximum amounts of spousal support are set by the Texas Family Code, and the current cap is $5,000 per month or 20 percent of the average monthly gross income of the paying spouse. However, if you have a premarital agreement that provides for support in greater amounts, that is done through contract provisions in a pre-marital agreement or a post-marital agreement.
What happens with child support payments in Texas?
Texas child support payments are based on guidelines for child support. For one child 20 percent of net monthly income, for example, is ordered to be paid by the child support obligor. A child support withholding order is usually used to be accepted by the court and sent to the employer to withhold child support money for collection and distribution through the Attorney General’s child support unit. Sometimes child support payments are made directly, as well as reimbursements and payments for necessary child expenses and it is important to always keep good records.
The Discovery and Pretrial Negotiation and Mediation Process
What happens when one spouse has more financial information than the other?
It’s not uncommon for one spouse to handle the family’s financial information and transactions. During the discovery process, the parties in a divorce and custody case are asked to provide their lawyers with the information necessary to represent them in the divorce. If the one with the information fails or refuses to disclose necessary information, the court can order the information to be produced and subpoenas can be sent directly to banks and institutions with the records.
Lifehack Article – 9 Ways to Pick Your Divorce Battles
Do I have to go to mediation, and are there situations we can avoid it?
When your judge orders you to attend mediation, it should be considered an opportunity to resolve some of the easier issues so that time and attention can be allocated to the difficult issues. In some situations, however, such as where family violence is alleged, mediation might not be appropriate. Giving mediation a solid effort makes sense and has value.
How do settlement negotiations work and can we settle certain issues easily out of court?
The more you can resolve out of court, the less information becomes a part of the public record. When going through hearings and trials, the evidence used and presented, including the testimony of witnesses can be a lot to deal with and if you can save yourself the time and pressure in court, it makes sense to resolve issues in settlement negotiations.
Being Prepared for Court for Hearings and Trial
How often am I going to have to go to court?
Court attendance is necessary when one is ordered to appear in court by the judge, or when one is called as a witness in a hearing or trial. Be prepared to appear at court for temporary orders hearings as well as hearings and trials on issues where the judge may need to ask questions, or you may be required to testify formally. Otherwise, for most financial issues and updates on the case status, and progress reports, the lawyers may not require the client to be present.
Will I need to get witnesses ready to offer supporting testimony?
Witnesses can help prove your allegations in a divorce and custody case. Especially when children’s issues and best interests are in focus, there can be a need to get supporting witnesses to testify where they have relevant personal information and knowledge of facts. However, a circus of naysayers becomes counterproductive. Quality is measured over quantity when it comes to the information we present for scrutiny by a judge and the opposing party. It all depends on the situation and this topic is another example of how important it is to hire a family lawyer with experience in challenging litigation strategies.
How long do most divorce hearings and trials last?
A better understanding of timing may concern the initial orders in a family law case to determine who pays for what and who cares for the kids and how during the pendency of the litigation. Otherwise, there may be a goal of getting to a final order within a set amount of time. It depends on the family and the complexity of the litigated matters. The more there is to fight over, the longer the battles may continue. Where there is a timing element, find a family lawyer you trust to do whatever they can to get timely results, while knowing many intervening factors can affect how long things take.
Enforcement and Modification of Court Orders, Judgments
How does court order enforcement work in most cases?
At the end of the divorce, a judgment and final order are entered, incorporating the resolution of all the issues in the divorce or custody matter. If after the fact there is a reason to ask the court to enforce the terms of a court order, that is a separate lawsuit with a specific request for enforcement relief. It will require a petition and service on the other party and all the formalities of the court process. In many cases, a strongly worded letter can urge a dragging party to comply with the court’s order.
What must happen to qualify for a modification case?
There needs to be a significant change in circumstances to ask the court to order a modification of an existing order and judgment. This could be a change in the employment of a parent or their relocation to a job, that requires a change and modification of what was originally ordered. Several factors can be presented arguing that there is enough to give the court cause to modify the order.
How can we resolve problems without going back to court and filing new suits?
Parents who tell their children to pick and choose their battles should heed the same advice to keep their heads in the game and not let emotion or difficult people drive them back into court. The time we have with our children before they grow up and start their own lives is so short. Some families become so used to fighting that before they know it the children are getting ready to graduate from high school. The better we can work to resolve issues, the better we can move forward in life with a positive attitude and winning spirit.
Attorneys and Mediators at the Barrows Firm in Southlake Serve North Texas Family Law Needs and Answer Frequent Texas Divorce Questions About Rights and Options in Texas Divorce (817) 481-1583
Divorce and Estate Planning for Medical Professionals
Divorce and Estate Planning for Doctors and Dentists in Private Practice
Medical professionals benefit from unique opportunities to earn significant income and grow wealth. Not only by practicing medicine but also by investing in small clinics and medical practice arrangements, doctors and dentists can build complex financial structures and generate income streams. Divorce in Texas is more complicated when community property issues are substantial. Consider, for example, a scenario in which a spouse worked for the other who may be a doctor or dentist in private practice. The supporting spouse may have contributed to building the practice and may seek a greater share in the divorce. And meanwhile, the medical professional spouse may have inherited money and invested in another practice and have issues and claims associated there with. At the Barrows Firm in Southlake, our Texas divorce attorneys work with high-net-worth divorce and estate planning issues when medical professionals get divorced and work to protect their wealth for the future support of their families and themselves.
Leslie Barrows is an aggressive Texas divorce and child custody attorney, well-experienced in high-stakes divorce and custody suits. With her team of attorneys and paralegals at the Barrows Firm in Southlake, Leslie creates and manages litigation strategies clients need to protect themselves and their families.
Texas is a Community Property State
Community property laws apply in Texas, and they are structured to usually provide an equal division of the marital property accumulated during the marriage. There are property issues that arise in divorce about property claims when one spouse wants the property to be considered separate property not subject to division. Separate property could be a business one had before the marriage, and the issue becomes whether once married, the business or income was kept separate or comingled into the marital income and became community property.
Doctors and dentists are rightfully concerned about going through a divorce and fear what could happen to their medical practice. Seeking to protect their practice, it is important to seek legal advice and representation from sophisticated divorce attorneys whose practices customarily serve high-net-worth clients with high-stakes business and property issues in divorce. Texas community property laws may entitle your spouse to reimbursement out of the business, which can become complex, and must be done correctly to best protect rights and interests moving forward.
Can Your Spouse Seek a Buyout of Your Medical Practice?
The issue in divorce with a doctor, dentist, and similar medical professional becomes value and reimbursement for what is due to the spouse to receive in a divorce settlement or post-trial judgment. Business valuation experts are used to determine the proper value of the medical practice. Values may be determined by looking back in time and projecting forward into the future. There are all kinds of complex business interests through which a spouse can claim a share in the divorce.
Liquidity of assets and cash to reimburse another can impede settlement in a divorce. But what if there are future interests and business interest deals that can be made with a spouse who may be happy to be divorced and later receive more money in total by accepting future income as part of the distribution in the divorce? Truly there are no limits to the creative ways that financial transactions can arise and be of great future benefit to everyone involved.
Resource Article: The Four Methods of Medical Practice Valuation, Explained
Premarital Agreements for Medical Professionals Protecting Physicians and Dentists
The benefits of premarital agreements to physicians and dental professionals are significant. Humans are emotional beings, and we dislike uncertainty. Not being able to know or predict future outcomes makes people insecure, which can lead to devastating results. Setting psychology aside, let’s consider a new marriage where the couple addressed potential future problems ahead of time by entering into a premarital agreement. The benefit of the premarital agreement, in this case, is the couple both know where they stand if the marriage ends. One may be negotiated to receive a certain fair settlement but not otherwise disrupt or threaten the value or ongoing daily operations of the professional practice, its accounts, or anything that could be disruptive.
Other medical professionals with whom practices and investments are furthered, may have legal rights and duties that affect one another. When a partner in a medical practice gets married, there could be concerns among others regarding exposure to divorce litigation that could affect the others in the practice. This scenario alone is a common reason doctors and dentists use premarital agreements to protect themselves in their medical practices.
Practice Article: Aligning Careers with Your Physician Spouse
Estate Planning for Texas Doctors and Dentists
The rights and obligations of medical professionals can vary in degree and complexity. When it comes to estate planning for doctors and dentists, many issues need to be reviewed to ensure that a plan is made for contingencies and situations that can arise.
In our recent article, see Technology Troubles in Texas Divorce, Family Law, and Estate Planning, we reviewed issues involving digital assets and accounts. These issues become more complex with medical professionals subject to professional regulations and rules of practice determined by state boards and rules.
Interesting Stories: Family Feud! 6 Stores of Problematic Estate Planning
Keeping Assets Safe and Private with Powers of Attorney
Spouses are usually named as the primary agent for power of attorney purposes, and a second agent may be named to handle specific directives connected to the medical professional’s practice if certain conditions occur. It is a good idea to make sure that everyone involved, knows their roles, rights, and duties in the event the power of attorney document becomes operational, even if for only a brief period.
In the event of divorce, it is important to update estate planning documents such as the power of attorney agreements. The failure to do so could create a challenging position for others and family members.
Wills and Trusts for Medical Professionals in Texas
Dying without a will leaves your property open to state-determined laws of intestate succession, to spouses and family members. Probate of an estate can be costly and encumber assets and income when the individual dies. A trust can be established to avoid probate, and so that the children and others named as beneficiaries under a trust, are provided for properly without interruption. Trusts can be set up where the recipients have limited or full access to money and payment for expenses. A well-prepared trust adapts to the intentions and needs of the maker of the trust so that the best opportunities are available to grow and preserve trust wealth and to provide for the reasonable needs of beneficiaries. Selecting the right trustees to make the best decisions is important.
The more planning and goals that we make today, the better we can realize success in the future, despite bumps along the way. We must provide for our family and others with whom we have obligations. At the Barrows Firm, we represent clients with substantial wealth and financial interests.
The Barrows Firm Protects Medical Professionals in Texas Divorce and Estate Planning (817) 481-1583
Technology Troubles in Texas Divorce, Family Law, and Estate Planning
Divorcing Being Aware of Top Technology Troubles in Texas Divorce, Family Law, and Estate Planning
Technology troubles in Texas divorce go beyond keeping track of all the usernames and passwords, and as we raise our awareness of the pitfalls of technology, we should all recognize our efforts and contributions to our permanent records. From the text we sent in anger to the tweet about the neighbor, everything we say can be used in and out of context to make us look like the best or worst person and parent.
At the Barrows Firm, we are a team of sophisticated divorce and family lawyers who are here to help good families reach their goals, winning in and out of court, and setting ourselves up for living our best lives, every day.
Leslie Barrows is a Southlake divorce attorney trusted and respected for her direct and effective approach to helping families navigate their challenging divorce, child custody, and estate planning matters. Contact the Barrows firm in Southlake to learn your rights and options in all family matters.
Top Technology Troubles in Texas Divorce, Child Custody, and Estate Planning:
1. Text Messaging and Email Communication: Beware the Pitfalls
Text messages and emails can and will be use das evidence to benefit one’s character or to otherwise be detrimental and attacking. How big and bad the fight gets depends on how much money people want to spend on litigating claims and defenses. And when the other side is the one driving the litigation bus, it can be easy to get run over and thrown under the bus. Managing the outcome of litigation when there is much that has been said is something that requires a sophisticated high-stakes divorce lawyer on your side. We explore these issues in our article, Computers, Hard Drive, and Technology Issues in Texas Divorce.
2. Social Media Content that Tells a Story, can it Be Twisted?
Who doesn’t try to make themselves look good online? Many of us spend significant time and resources building and managing our brand in business and social life. Nowadays it becomes important to be visible and active online. Among other coworkers, neighbors, and parents, we all tell our stories and tales of life, trying to be relatable. But what happens when our posts are used against us? How do we establish our true needs when we worked so hard making it look like we already had everything? Technology troubles in Texas divorce become challenging when social media content tells a story subject to differing interpretations.
3. Digital Assets and Discovery in Divorce and Estate Planning
When you are planning a divorce or estate planning strategy, think about all the places we log in and have a username and password. If something happens to you, what do you want to happen to your Facebook page? Do you care if it remains or is deleted, and who gets to do it? What if there is a will contest down the line and someone uses a social media post to prove their claims that you lacked consent when updating your will while on vacation and your attorney was not made aware, and that attorney has the last copy of the will on file in their office?
4. Using and Failing to Properly Use Our Family Wizard, Support Pay, and Other Apps
The technology works when it works for you, but when others fail or refuse to participate, the Court can get involved. Technology troubles in Texas divorce and child custody include parents who refuse to use the apps the Court orders us to use to communicate. Support Pay is an app for managing child support, payments, and shared expenses. Our Family Wizard is an app for co-parenting and child custody information sharing and visitation exchanges. These apps can work well when everyone is on board and uses those apps. Sometimes there is a reason the other side is not using the app, and that can lead to problems.
5. Co-Parenting and Monitoring Children Online: Family Digital Policies
Are the kids online? Do they have their own devices? Do both parents have access and control of the children and their technology profiles? When people divorce and have young children, their technology might not yet be an issue, but as they grow older, parents must take notice and be proactive about social media and all the information children can find on the Internet. There are all kinds of challenges facing parents when technology troubles challenge children as well as parents. Knowing who kids are talking to and what they are up to requires parental oversight and that is an important element of parenting that must be discussed when there is a disconnect, your lawyer may need to get involved.
Divorce and Family Law Issues are Complex and Require Sophisticated Lawyers
Divorce cases are more complex and there is more at stake because of technology, so hire the best divorce lawyer you can find. High net worth divorces, and family law cases must be managed with an appropriate litigation strategy. Even when planning to settle most issues in mediation, there are complex financial and property issues to resolve. An experienced divorce litigator is necessary to manage case strategy and bring in the necessary experts to prove the allegations in divorce suits.
Technology troubles in Texas divorce cases can fill bankers’ boxes of evidence that may be presented at hearings and trials. If there are fault grounds that lead to a greater share of the marital estate, technology can become a powerful tool and people learn quickly how much of a footprint they have online and in their communities.
Barrows Firm: Using Infidelity as Leverage in Divorce in Texas
Child Custody Litigation: Don’t Tweet Yourself into a Corner
Both parents frequently find themselves to be the best choice as the primary parent, and we remember that if they were able to resolve disputes amicably, we would not be in child custody litigation in the first place. And when in divorce court, everything ever said, posted, and uploaded can be used against you and your credibility before the judge, jury, or any number of parenting facilitators, coordinators, and mental health professionals involved in your suit.
The good thing is that the judge has heard it all before, for most cases, and the worst we fear that may come out is probably not going to be remembered or memorialized. The best strategy is to identify the worst things you think you’ve done or said, and how the other parent may be coming for you. That way your child custody lawyer can help strategize and create the right focus on actual issues and what is in the best interests of the children.
Hiding and burying that we don’t want to come to light, is the bigger source of technology troubles in a Texas divorce when the other side knows what you’ve said and done, and they have a way to find and spotlight your attempts to hide and cover things up. Read our recent article about these issues on the Barrows Firm Blog: Computers, Hard Drives, and Technology Issues in Texas Divorce.
Estate Planning Among Digital Asset and Currency Advancements
Technology affects financial planning and wealth management. Digital assets and currencies present new challenges for family estate planning. And when people are recently divorced or have another significant life-changing event going on, technology awareness and comfort must be managed appropriately. Electronic records and files stored online and on mobile devices and computers are digital assets that must be noted in a digital estate plan.
Consider email accounts, social media, online banking, cloud-based media storage, online dating, utilities, and other apps that contain all kinds of information and are valuable assets and need consideration and recognition in our Power of Attorney documents, wills, and trusts.
Barrows Firm Blog: Estate Planning in Texas: Frequently Asked Questions
Use the Barrows Firm, a Technologically Sophisticated Texas Firm for Divorce, Family Law, and Estate Planning (817) 481-1583
Divorcing a Gambling Addict: All Bets are Off
You Thought You Hit the Jackpot with Your Spouse Until They Became a Gambling Addict
Divorcing a gambling addict becomes necessary when you accept that addiction can take people over and without help and divorce, the family and children can suffer irreparable damage. Some people trade one addiction for the next throughout their lives. People who no longer drink because of addiction are often thrilled to meet new partners who are also sober. But does their sobriety mean they are free of addiction? Often the psychological roots of addiction manifest in other forms and behaviors like gambling. One may say it is no big deal that the other spends money on scratch-offs at the gas station instead of beer or wine, but things can change. The other spouse might not notice a creeping gambling problem leading to addiction because they are otherwise prone to spot the more common addiction, they had problems with like drugs or alcohol.
Help Guide: Gambling Addiction and Problem Gambling
Mayo Clinic: Compulsive Gambling Symptoms and Causes
Addiction is a problem leading to divorce in Texas, whether it involves substances or other activities like gambling. Money problems come with gambling addiction, leading to divorce in Texas as families struggling to keep up and get ahead seem to be stuck or slipping due to the actions, lies, and trauma associated with a gambling addict.
In Southlake, families trust Leslie Barrows and her team of family lawyers at the Barrows Firm who are experienced in working with clients whose families are torn apart by addiction. And when divorcing a gambling addict, it is important to protect yourself and protect the family.
Gambling and Money Problems Leading to Divorce in Texas
Money problems are one of the leading causes of divorce and gambling is one of the worst money problems. Gambling addicts are out of control and spend money on bets that their luck will turn around and they will get ahead in their gambling. Divorce in Texas over money problems usually involves conflict over one spouse being a saver, while the other spouse is a spender, or in this case, a gambler.
Coparenting while a married couple is difficult when mom is trying to pay the bills and feed the kids and dad seems content on blowing paychecks at Winstar, hoping to strike it rich. That scenario may also be the other way around, and there are women with gambling addictions as well as men. Also, family money problems do not have to involve casinos, when there are quick and easy lottery tickets at gas stations. Even when it’s $20 a piece on Powerball, that money can add up quickly and so can the resentment of the other spouse, scrambling to compensate in the budget.
How Gambling Addiction Affects Divorce
Gambling addictions affect divorce in similar ways that addiction to anything interrupts the normal functioning of communication and relationships among people and families. We frequently hear about the perils of alcohol and drug addiction and love to talk about those problems, but for some reason, gambling addiction gets the back burner. The codependency issues consistent with other forms of addiction are a conflict source in families where someone is a gambling spouse. How does one protect themselves from a gambling spouse? In the same way, one protects themselves from a spouse with any addiction, with treatment, counseling, and an escape plan to make a safe exit when it becomes time.
Divorce Attorney Leslie Barrows helps families affected by addiction, including gambling addiction. A gambling addict is not in control. A person who is not in control may have other problems that present risks to others. In many instances, the gambler also has a drinking or drug addiction. Maybe they quit drinking or using drugs and became addicted to gambling instead of using substances. For whatever reason, it is important to spot the problems addiction presents in a family and get professional help.
How to Protect Yourself from a Gambling Spouse
Protect yourself from a gambling spouse because you and your family need financial security. In treatment for gambling addiction, there are processes we can take to protect the money from the gambler. It depends on where the relationship stands as to what are the best options to help the gambling spouse versus getting away and preventing the funds from being depleted.
Nolo Article on Spendthrift Trusts – A Spendthrift Trust Protects Property from an Irresponsible Beneficiary and His or Her Creditors
Talking to your divorce lawyer is important when planning to exit the marriage and file for divorce without the spouse finding out, withdrawing all the money, and betting the marital estate on a betting table. That does not mean the other spouse can ice out the gambler either or cut off their resources for basic living. The status quo needs to be preserved when a divorce suit is filed, and there are reasonable and necessary options to protect against the wasting of marital assets when that concern is present with a gambling-addicted spouse.
How to Divorce a Gambler: Time to Call Their Bluff
Gambling spouses bet that they have power over the other spouse and they won’t go through with filing for divorce. They expect those spouses to stick around and keep codependently covering up for their gambling addiction despite the damage it causes to the family. They tell their spouse how much they love them for supporting them, even though they may be causing damage to everyone involved.
Simply, if one loves the other enough, call their bluff, call the lawyer, and go. The addict with no consequences never gets help on their own. Why would they? The spouse who stays is the spouse who enables them when we talk about addiction. And if filing for divorce gets the other one to get help, maybe the marriage can be saved after all, but be ready to be done for good.
The spouses and family members of addiction must be in treatment for the impact addiction has on everyone else. Addiction is a family disease, regardless of the nature of the addiction.
Divorcing a Spouse Addicted to Gambling, Substances, and Their Dopamine
Addiction takes many forms and gambling can go along with a list of complementary vices that tear people and relationships apart. People with strong addiction problems seem to learn how to quit things to which they become self-destructively dependent. As people trade one addiction for the next, there seems to be an underlying sense of a loss of control or a general sense of self-worth and satisfaction, and that void is filled by dopamine. Yes, the naturally occurring brain chemical, dopamine, is what our brain releases to give us bursts of pleasure and satisfaction. Whether it be the smell of cookies in the oven, the sound of the oven timer, or the taste of freshly baked treats, we love those experiences because they release dopamine.
Recent Blog Article: Using Infidelity as Leverage in Divorce in Texas (gambling can also be used in pleading fault grounds in divorce, seeking a greater share)
Psychologically, people are addicted to their dopamine and whatever triggers the feel-good in their brain. Gambling addicts, like addicts to any other substances or activities, need professional help to stop these activities and learn underlying issues that need attention.
While divorcing a spouse addicted to gambling, it is important to remember to be firm yet patient in the process of property division, child custody, support, and communicating for litigation and settlement. Be prepared for the addiction to be addressed in the process and know it might have an impact on the outcome of the process depending on the situation. Know that experienced family lawyers at the Barrows Firm are accustomed to divorce and family cases where addiction is a source of conflict and often the reason for divorce.
Divorcing a Gambling Addict: Use the Barrows Firm in Southlake (817) 481-1583
Using Infidelity as Leverage in Divorce in Texas
Using Infidelity as Leverage in Divorce Proving Fault Grounds in Texas
Texas is a no-fault divorce state where you do not need to prove fault to get a divorce, using infidelity as leverage in divorce is an option. The Court may grant a divorce in favor of one spouse if the other spouse has committed adultery. The no-fault ground for divorce is “irreconcilable differences” or an “Irreparable breakdown of the marriage.” The question your divorce lawyer asks is whether it is worth spending the time and money proving infidelity as a fault-based ground for divorce. For some people, the cheating is so bad that they end up being appointed a greater share of the community marital estate, among other elements of relief the parties may seek from the Court. Whether people like it or not, the Texas legislature gives us a legal pathway for using infidelity as leverage in a divorce. There are times adults decide they want to make the other pay for their dirty deeds and that can include exposing them publicly, before the Court of public opinion in addition to their local District Court. And while the parties to the cause may not be the ones spilling the tea, you know it goes on, whisper, whisper.
What happens when the shoe is on the other foot? What happens when you are the spouse being accused of infidelity and must prove innocence and establish the plot to sabotage you? And that might be the game plan of a narcissist spouse frequently gaslighting the other and highlighting endless examples of parental alienation to boot. Barrows Firm attorneys are well-experienced in defending sane people accused of insane conduct, and yes it happens more often than many would expect.
Barrows Firm Blog: Preparing for Court and Making a Good Impression
Divorce litigation strategy in proving infidelity can be a challenge. What matters is more than what you know, it’s what you can prove. Depending on the situation there are plenty of directions to approach how you make and prove your case asking for a divorce on fault grounds of infidelity, and being awarded a greater share of the marital estate, including money, property, and how you can proceed in litigation.
When to Plead No Fault Divorce, When to Plead Fault and Send It
Barrows Firm strategy is important, and it includes all the best experts you can get on your winning team. Leslie Barrows is an experienced litigator and has fought for clients with challenging cases to prove when the battle is everything. We only get one chance to raise our children and give them the best chances at creating their best lives and that means sometimes mom or dad needs to prepare and wear their suit of courage.
The children are never supposed to know what is going on and that is also a legal requirement in the Standing Orders used by the Courts. However, even though we don’t say a word, children are smart and they can read us better than we admit. How strong you are and how resilient you can present yourself under the toughest of circumstances is a personally answered question.
Going to war is brutal and divorces get ugly when acrimony is fired from a high-pressured hose. Be prepared that the opponent may have more and different ammunition than expected. The element of surprise can be tricky. Going forward, using infidelity as leverage in divorce requires an emotional commitment and a plan for how to handle surprises as they may come.
Focus on Kids with Psychology Today: An Essential Tool to Protect Kids From Conflict in a Divorce
Proving Adultery with Your Best Private Investigator and the Weight of Testimonial Evidence
People who know they are going to file for divorce often start collecting evidence well in advance of filing and serving their spouse. Some come to their initial meeting with their divorce lawyer and already have a retained investigator and what they believe is evidence of infidelity.
HG.org Legal Resources Article: The Ins and Outs of Hiring a Private Investigator in a Divorce Case
Caution to anyone engaged in having another person tailed and investigated on their own and without the advice of an attorney and in the course of a properly managed divorce and or child custody suit. Any would-be evidence that is illegally obtained can be limited from being used in court.
Private legal investigators should be licensed and well-credentialed to ensure the quality of the process of the investigation as well as the reporting of findings to the Court so that evidence may be offered for admittance. The investigator might be busy interviewing potential witnesses and people with personal knowledge of facts and occurrences in the case. Again, divorce litigation strategy requires a savvy Texas divorce lawyer like Leslie Barrows, who knows how and when to use the assets of the investigator as leverage in complex divorce and custody suits.
DO NOT DO THIS: Learn How to Avoid Destruction of Evidence Problems!
Read Our Article: Computers, Hard Drives, and Technology Issues in Texas Divorce
Technology has come a long way in helping jilted spouses prove their spouses are cheating. Something as simple as the car insurance app on the phone mapping every drive and location can land a spouse in hot water in a messy divorce. We leave a footprint all over our digital apps and services, including our social media. Once a divorce case is filed the parties are instructed to observe Standing Orders to not disturb any property or accounts while the divorce is pending, and that includes social media accounts which may contain all kinds of surprises. Deleting content and social media accounts can get you in trouble with the Court and could result in sanctions for the destruction of evidence.
Credibility is important in a Texas divorce, and once your credibility is damaged, it can be difficult to rehabilitate. Nothing makes someone look more guilty than destroying and hiding evidence.
Preparing to Conduct Oneself in Full Out Divorce Litigation, Your War of the Worlds
Family and friends are important supporting teammates when you go to war in divorce court. Prepare them for the best and worst to come. Many people may seem supportive but shy away when things get too real. And when the opposing party shockingly approaches one or your suspected allies as a witness against you, be prepared to handle that difficult situation.
At any point in the litigation, the loss of a friendship because of a misunderstanding or misinformation can cause someone to lose it and that does not help. What does help, is preparing for worst-case scenarios. That way you can count your blessings after the dust settles as you count the casualties on both sides.
Families in Southlake Trust the Barrows Firm for High Net Worth Divorce Issues Including Using Infidelity as Leverage in Divorce (817) 481-1583
Preparing for Court and Making a Good Impression
Preparing for Court and Making a Good Impression in aTexas Divorce and Family Law Case
Good courtroom etiquette involves removing hats before entering the courtroom, turning off cell phones, and being prepared to conduct oneself and professionally interact with others. Your divorce attorney and their staff may share their tips about preparing for Court and making a good impression. For example, knowing how to dress and look may be different than what some expect. Appearing in Court, it is important to take the situation seriously and be respectful of others and their time in also being present for your important family law matter. Whether it be the first time appearing before your Judge or a short trip to Court on a housekeeping issue, always keep a professional demeanor and conduct oneself as if the entire experience is being videotaped and recorded, and in today’s age of technology, it is more likely than not you are being permanently captured on audio and video.
What to Wear: Dress Code for Courtroom Proceedings (Court of Appeals, Second Appellate District of Texas at Fort Worth – example)
Leslie Barrows and her team of divorce attorneys, paralegals, and staff at the Barrows Firm in Southlake prepare divorce and family law clients for Court appearances and what to expect. Every situation is different and how things proceed depends on how people respond to the process and the underlying facts and circumstances.
Texas Law Help: Tips for the Courtroom
So much can happen in a Texas divorce and family law case, and even though some people make a good first impression, things can turn ugly, and acrimony takes over the tone of negotiations. In those cases, it may be necessary to adjust the litigation strategy. Attorney Barrows knows the reputation of fellow family lawyers in DFW and what one might expect. The ultimate focus must be on protecting the family, parents, and children and their best interests. It may be difficult appearing and testifying in Court, especially under ugly circumstances, and it is important to feel authentic trust in your legal counsel.
A permanent record is of concern when it comes to court appearances and the testimony and evidence that may be brought up again in the future, especially in post-decree or any appeal situations. Remember to always keep calm and take as long as needed to think about questions, answer them, present information, and so forth. Never take the bait if your opponent or their counsel tries to upset you.
Check out the Barrows Firm Blog and Search for Information
Tips for Courtroom Conduct and Keeping a Positive Attitude
You only get one chance to make a first impression. And you do not want to make too much of an impression to the extent that the judge remembers you. Ideally, you will appear the model citizen and parent of the year, every time you appear in court. If the judge looks and remembers you immediately, that means you are on the judge’s mind and that is not always a good thing. Being memorable might mean you come off as a problem or as otherwise memorable because it looks like you might not be the type to want to agree to anything or follow through with agreements.
While being concerned with looking appropriate to the Court, in dress and demeanor, there may be a nasty opposing party and their counsel who might trigger emotions, make you look good or bad, or gaslight a situation to upset you or cause you to appear flustered. Thankfully most attorneys are respectful and maintain good courtroom decorum, but the unfortunate gamesmanship happens, and people need to be prepared if positive attitudes are tested.
The Balance Small Business: How to Make a More Effective Appearance in Court
What to Expect in Texas Family Law Courts
Your divorce lawyer and their team prepare you for court, how questions may be asked, and how the process works when you or others take the witness stand and offer testimonial evidence. Of course, much of what happens in court involves documentation of financial and other reports regarding custody or whatever other issues may be in controversy. The Court oversees the process of exchanging information and developing testimony and evidence the Court uses to make rulings and recommendations when the parties otherwise do not agree. At the end of the day, most things get into evidence, especially when it comes to the property because the Judge needs to know everything about the marital estate to make proper decisions about property division and support, for example.
Depending on what type of court appearance is scheduled, there could be a short status appearance where the attorneys address the Court and let the Judge know updates. When there is a temporary hearing scheduled or a hearing on another matter during the case, each side may have limited time to present evidence and arguments to prove claims made in divorce and family law matters.
Expect the unexpected in a Texas divorce and family law case because things come out left field when divorce and child custody matters are contested and tempers flare. Especially in times when everything seems to be documented somewhere, a surprise social media post, picture, or video can make its way into the discovery and litigation process and when things come out as a surprise, others can be caught off guard. What matters most is how people react to the unexpected that comes to light in the process of preparing for court and making a good impression.
What to Avoid in the Litigation Process in and Out of Court
When in litigation, especially in court, the clock is running, and the meter is ticking. Whether it be your attorney fees, the experts, the court reporter, the transcript, or the assistants, it costs time and money to fight. Being prudent is important. Identifying what issues are worth settling or pursuing should be figured out in Temporary Orders and mediation ideally so that all the professionals involved can focus on resolving the most important conflict.
Avoid responding emotionally to what happens or is said. Showing weakness, joy, or too much emotion, in any case, is not a good plan when all eyes and ears are on you and the situation. It is not to say be robotic or aloof, but do appear sane and well-adjusted, even though your case might try the patience of everyone involved.
Inside and Outside of the Courtroom when Everyone is Watching and Listening
Do not make the mistake that there is a magic barrier between the Courtroom and the hallways or restrooms. Assume that everyone around s listening or recording. A heightened level of scrutiny is appropriate when at Court because there are people you may not know who may be interested in following, watching, and listening to you. It may be something as simple as making a phone call or speaking into the phone to send a text message and a leaked communication can lead to a problem.
Always keep a notepad with you when in Court and write down notes and questions for your lawyer. When appropriate show them your note or question and be mindful about how much you speak or respond.
Preparing for Court and Making a Good Impression with the Barrows Firm in Southlake (817) 481-1583
Summer Possession Schedules and Issues
Summer Possession Schedules and Issues: Tips on BeingGood Co-Parents
In Texas, the Standard Possession Order gives both the custodial and noncustodial parents parenting time for the summer month. That schedule begins when schools release students for summer break, and it goes until seven days before the kids go back to school. During the summer schedule, the noncustodial parent has 30 days of continuous possession. They can use the entire 30 days at once or split it up into two periods at least seven days each. By April 1, noncustodial parents must give notice to the custodial parent about when they plan to use their summer possession time if they have a different 30-day summer schedule, otherwise, the month of July is the default, and the noncustodial parent has possession of the children from the 1stto the 31st of July.
See an Example: Standard Possession and Access (Visitation) Order from Tarrant County
When parents chose the Standard Possession Schedule and Order, the advantage is that everyone is on the same page and can plan their activities. However, unless ordered by the Court, parents can use whatever customized possession schedule fits their needs. They can also go off the possession schedule and take things as they come if it makes sense for everyone involved. This is something that many families experience as kids grow older and parents have been co-parenting well. As things come up with life and busy schedules, it is helpful to compromise scheduling conflicts from time to time and build a good rapport with the other parent.
Educators’ Spin: Making Summer Memories with Your Child This Year
And just when it seems like everything is going along well, things can change. New relationships can cause different dynamics and conflict. When it’s necessary, going back to the set possession schedule might be appropriate. An enforcement or modification case is appropriate depending on the circumstances.
At the Barrows Firm in Southlake, attorney Leslie Barrows works with clients to prepare them for co-parenting and learning when to pick and chose their battles as the inevitable conflicts arise overtime and as kids grow older. If it makes sense, Barrows and her clients workout custom possession schedules and plans, and as well they work on modification cases and enforcement actions to get the teeth of the Court involved if necessary.
Confusion Over Possession Schedules
Things get bad when schedules go wrong, get confused, or people’s time is not being respected. Especially when parents make their plans for the children’s summer camp, sports, and other activities, it is important to respect the schedule and stick to the plans. Last-minute changes can screwup the other person’s plans and lead to resentment. When designating summer possession time and schedules, make sure to double-check everything and plan your summer in detail to prevent scheduling conflicts. Everything we can do to be reliable co-parents helps build trust with the other parent and that can goa long way when asking for a favor in the future.
This is a Great Summer Camp List: Summer Camps in Texas
When the custodial parent receives a proposed summer possession schedule from the other parent, check all the time and with calendars and make sure everything looks good right away. Even though it is the noncustodial parents’ right to choose their dates, if there is something that might be a block, it is worth asking them if the kid can swing back home for this or that or find out if any conflicts can be worked out. When people are reasonable, it is not too difficult to prevent confusion over possession schedules. If, however, there is extensive travel involved or something out of the ordinary arises, it can become necessary to contact your lawyer and more formally discuss the situation to attempt conflict resolution.
Children Spending Valuable Time with their Noncustodial Parent
Summer is a big deal to kids and every summer vacation is something they look forward to all year long. And when children’s parents are not married or living together, summer break means a big chunk of time with the other parent who usually plans something fun. The quality time children spend with their parents during summers is important to making lifetime memories and growing the bonds and relationships between kids and parents.
Often when dad is the non-custodial parent, summer break with his sons and daughters is a special time and like all good dads, he is probably planning summer activities to create great memories and activities where he can give wisdom, ask questions, and get to know what is going on with his children and their lives. Dads don’t always say they are about to dispense wisdom, they just hope their kids are listening and some of it seeps in.
Adjustment Issues when Kids Don’t Want to Go or Leave
Our Family Wizard: Making Transitions Easier for Children
Remember how long a month was when you were a child or teenager, it was forever long. Preparing for a month at the other parent’s house is a bigger deal to them than it might seem to us. Being away from friends can be an important issue for kids and making new friends when at the other parent’s house is also something that makes them not want to leave and go home. Parents need to be flexible and understanding with their children about expectations and maintaining relationships, not to mention all their extracurricular activities. A good co-parent will accommodate a ride across town or some other kids coming over to see your son or daughter who needs to keep themselves current with whatever kid-centered focus of the day.
The overall goal is to be flexible in working well with co-parents and kids and schedules. Remember to put things in perspective and consider what your children want, and what may be appropriate for their age and circumstances. Sometimes kids want to stay with the other parent long-term and that is quite another discussion, and as the children grow older, they might express their wishes to live with the other parent on a primary basis.
Modifying and Enforcing Visitation and Possession Orders
In the event a child wants to live with the other parent, it might be a conversation. It all depends on age and circumstances. If for example the son is turning 17 and wants to live with dad, that may be a different conversation than if the son were 12. If everyone is on board, they can try out a change in living situations and make it permanent with a modified visitation order. Remember that some parents go off formal possession orders over time and do their own thing, but even in that case, some may want a modified order. If in agreement, the parties can file a case with the Court to have the new agreement accepted and ordered by the judge.
It might also be necessary to file an enforcement action if another party is not complying with the terms of the order. Sometimes when one parent remarries and has a blended family with busy schedules or there are personal problems, your family lawyer needs to file an enforcement lawsuit to ask the Court for relief in forcing the other party to comply with the Court’s Orders.
Call the Barrows Firm for Summer Possession Schedules and Issues (817) 481-1583
Men’s Issues and Perspectives on Divorce: Spousal Support and Child Support
Men’s Issues and Perspectives in Divorce Often Focus on Spousal Support and Child Support as Well as Protecting Children and Guiding their Development
Father’s Day was a great day to celebrate the hard work and dedication we expect and appreciate from dads. Are all dads perfect? No, but they do work hard at making the best choices every day. And even if a marriage fails or dad and mom were never married, dad still has rights and duties to raise his children and support his former spouse. Dad always has a unique perspective to share with his sons and daughters, and the message might be different from one kid to the next.
Ultimately, men are concerned with their duties and responsibilities to the family, keeping safe and feeding their wives and children. And even after a divorce, when dad is on his own and sees the children on a regular possession schedule, he maintains his perspectives on raising children and contributing to their support and that of a former spouse.
Contrary to the experiences of some, most fathers are cooperative and eager to satisfy their ability to raise their children and pay for their needs, whether doing so directly or through the most common court order for withholding support. And if getting divorced, a longer-term marriage can involve spousal maintenance, often on a temporary and fixed basis until the former wife can provide her net resources, in addition to whatever is ordered in child support.
Pediatric Associates: The Importance of a Father in a Child’s Life
Attorney Leslie Barrows and the Texas divorce and family lawyers at the Barrows Firm in Southlake take men’s issues and perspectives in divorce proceedings very seriously and understand what is at stake. Contact us to learn more about father’s rights and issues in Texas divorce.
Father’s Rights are Men’s Issues in Texas Divorce
Divorce in Texas can be very different when men talk about their experience in divorce, and child custody cases. While we hear so much about the experiences of single mothers, we seldom focus on how men can function and process what is happening in their lives. Fathers might not talk about it as often, but they are on high alert, and many struggle to maintain the right attitude in a system often perceived as against their rights and better judgment.
When people talk about fathers’ rights, the issues and perspectives involved might include equal placement of the children, which could affect child support obligations based on the number of overnights and how equal custody is planned. Even with equal placement, there is likely going to be a child support order.
Common comments from Fathers are consistent, that dads who are seeking more time with their children are not doing so for financial motivation, such as changing their financial liability to pay support for their children. Again, men are hard-wired providers, and they will work to take care of their children. That said, there are reasonable expectations that these men taking care of their families after a divorce in Texas, are going to be respected and the money they work hard to provide is not squandered improperly. And when many men do have issues and perspectives, they talk about fathers’ rights in terms of their desire to set and enforce their rights as parents and to have a say in what goes on when raising their children.
Father’s Perspectives on Raising Sons and Daughters
Showing praise and investing time in them and their abilities helps boys and girls feel important, safe, and valuable in their capacity to share life experiences with others. Men tend to be stern with their sons and hold them to high expectations. In some ways, a father might hope their sons make good decisions with the help of his dad’s advice, and when you repeat it enough times, it just might stick. Meanwhile, men tend to be more verbally responsive and attentive to the needs of daughters, who are their fathers’ ultimate princesses. And even when dad doesn’t express it, we know that is how he feels. A father will do just about anything for his daughter.
American Psychological Association: Fathers’ Brains Respond Differently to Daughters Than Sons
Men’s Duty to Support Their Family: Spouse and Child Support Issues
Contact Attorney Leslie Barrows at the Barrows Firm in Southlake for spousal and child support issues, including original cases, enforcement, and modification suits.
Many Texas divorces involve spousal maintenance, meant to be rehabilitative and to get the receiving spouse to a place where they can provide for their own needs. Child support is determined and set based on the available monthly net resources of the child support obligor, in this case, the fathers we recognize in this article.
Protecting the Family and Sharing Responsibilities from Dad’s Perspective
Men grow up to become family leaders and protectors. As dads grow in their roles, they can positively influence their sons and daughters in different but albeit important ways. Children who love and trust their fathers will look to them for direction in life. Little girls, grow up often seeking men who meet standards for their lives consistent with what their father showed them. And for little boys growing up into young men, their fathers show them how to be fair people, good leaders, and protectors of the women and children.
Inside 5 a.m. – Modern Family Living: The Responsibilities of Fathers
Dads teach children how to be resourceful and where to find answers and solutions to problems. Dads are not the only positive male role models in their lives and when asked, most fathers report they do hope their children have positive relationships with new people, for example, if their mother remarries. And remember, a positive stepfather role model is great, but they will never replace the children’s father.
The Art of Leading by Showing Good Examples, Being a Positive Role Model
Dads are important positive role models in their children's lives and there is no substitute for the opportunity of a father to mentor and teach his sons and daughters how to be good and respectful children, hopefully showing an example for others.
Sometimes we don’t get to notice the good influences and lessons taught by fathers until they are gone. And we like to think that even after dad’s natural life, he is lessons and words are still in our minds and hearts as we pass those onto others we likewise look for and seek to protect.
Showing Respect Where Respect is Due, Keeping High Expectations of Others, an Important Value at the Barrows Firm in Southlake Where We Help Fathers with Spousal and Child Support Matters (817) 481-1583