10 Things Co-Parents Can Do to Prepare for Back to School
Back-to-school season is an exciting time for children, but it can present real challenges for co-parents who must navigate logistical and emotional complexities together. A strong co-parenting partnership can help ease this transition and set children up for a positive academic year. With thoughtful planning, healthy communication, and a focus on the child’s needs, co-parents can work together to ensure a smooth start to the school year. The following ten strategies can make a significant difference in how your child adjusts and thrives.
1. Review and Update the Parenting Plan
Before the first bell rings, both parents should review their parenting plan or court-ordered agreement to ensure it aligns with the current school schedule. This includes custody exchanges, transportation responsibilities, and school holidays. School-year logistics can be quite different from summer routines, so addressing discrepancies in advance helps avoid confusion. If updates are needed, it is best to agree in writing to ensure clarity and accountability.
For example, if one parent starts a new job that interferes with morning drop-offs, it could disrupt the child’s schedule if not discussed ahead of time. A solution could be agreeing that the other parent handles drop-offs in exchange for evening pickups. If disagreements arise, working with a mediator or family attorney to modify the order may help both sides reach a workable solution that best supports the child.
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2. Communicate with Each Other and the School
Clear, respectful, and consistent communication between co-parents is one of the most important factors in a child’s academic success. Make sure both parents are listed as contacts with the school and have access to report cards, newsletters, and event notices. Teachers and administrators should know who is authorized to pick up the child and how to reach each parent. This ensures that both parents remain involved and informed.
A common issue occurs when only one parent receives communication from the school and does not share it with the other. This may cause missed parent-teacher conferences or forgotten assignments. To solve this, parents can jointly email teachers at the beginning of the year and request that both be copied on all school correspondence. Using communication platforms like ClassDojo, Google Classroom, or a shared email address can keep everyone in the loop.
3. Coordinate School Supplies and Clothing
Back-to-school shopping is often exciting for children, but can become a point of conflict for co-parents. Decide early who will purchase which supplies and whether costs will be shared equally or divided by categories such as school supplies versus clothing. Make a shared checklist and communicate about preferences and budgets to prevent overlap or tension.
For instance, if one parent buys an expensive backpack and the other purchases generic supplies, feelings of imbalance may arise. To prevent this, agree in advance on a budget and stick to it. If one parent wants to go beyond the agreed amount, they can choose to do so without expecting reimbursement. Documenting purchases and sharing receipts can help clarify expectations and reduce unnecessary disputes.
4. Sync Calendars and Schedules
Children’s school calendars are filled with important dates such as early dismissals, holidays, sports events, and school picture days. Co-parents can benefit from syncing calendars to stay aligned. Shared digital tools like Google Calendar, OurFamilyWizard, or Cozi allow both parents to add, view, and receive reminders for school-related activities.
A missed event, like a parent-teacher night or an after-school performance, can be hurtful to a child and create emotional stress. If this happens, a productive solution is to address it calmly and reaffirm each parent’s commitment to staying informed. Going forward, agree to set calendar reminders for each event and review the calendar together each week. Consistency is key in building trust between co-parents and with the child.
5. Establish Consistent Routines
Children do best when they know what to expect. Routines for bedtime, homework, mealtime, and screen time provide structure and promote healthy habits. While homes may differ, co-parents should strive for consistency in the basic routines to help children transition easily between households and maintain academic focus.
Confusion can arise when one home enforces a 9 p.m. bedtime and the other allows screens past midnight. This discrepancy may lead to exhaustion and poor performance in school. A solution is for parents to agree on a core routine, such as homework before dinner and lights out by 9 p.m. Customizing details to fit each household while maintaining shared goals helps the child adjust and feel secure.
6. Discuss Homework and Academic Goals
Co-parents should discuss how they will support their child’s academic progress. This includes setting expectations for grades, monitoring homework completion, and providing a quiet space to study. Agree on how to handle late or missing assignments and how to reward effort and improvement.
Tension can build if one parent is heavily involved in homework while the other leaves the child unsupervised. The child may begin to associate school success with one parent only, creating imbalance and resentment. To address this, both parents can agree to set aside daily homework time, use a shared homework log, and check in weekly about academic progress. This teamwork encourages the child to take ownership of their learning.
7. Create a Unified Message
Children are quick to spot differences in parenting styles and may try to use them to their advantage. When parents present a united front, children feel more secure and less inclined to test boundaries. Whether it’s about school rules, discipline, or celebrating milestones, delivering a consistent message reinforces stability.
For example, if one parent enforces consequences for missed homework while the other dismisses it, the child may become confused and less accountable. A good practice is to talk ahead of time about responses to academic or behavioral issues and agree on how to explain them to the child. Regular communication helps prevent mixed messages and reinforces shared values.
8. Prepare for Extracurriculars
Extracurricular activities are a vital part of a child’s development. Whether it’s soccer, piano, robotics, or debate team, participating in these activities requires time, transportation, fees, and emotional support. Co-parents should discuss activity schedules in advance and determine how to share responsibilities fairly.
A common pitfall is when one parent signs the child up for an activity without consulting the other, leading to scheduling conflicts or resentment over costs. The solution is to discuss extracurriculars at the start of each season and create a written plan for transportation, attendance, and cost-sharing. When both parents attend games or performances and cheer from the sidelines, children feel supported and valued by both parents.
9. Check in Emotionally
The start of a new school year can stir up anxiety, especially in children adjusting to life between two homes. Checking in emotionally means talking to your child about their feelings and letting them know it’s okay to feel nervous, excited, or unsure. Make space for open conversations and offer reassurance.
Some children may act out or withdraw if they feel pulled between parents during stressful times. Signs may include trouble sleeping, a sudden drop in grades, or refusal to go to school. If this happens, both parents should address it together. Seeking guidance from a school counselor or child therapist may help. Reinforce that both homes are safe spaces where feelings are welcomed and respected.
10. Keep the Focus on the Child
The most important thing co-parents can do is keep the focus on the child’s well-being. Letting go of personal grievances and choosing cooperation over conflict sets a powerful example. Even if communication is limited, keeping exchanges respectful and child-centered benefits everyone.
Problems often arise when school-related matters become opportunities to revisit old arguments. For instance, debating which parent has “done more” this school year can derail progress. The solution is to shift the focus back to the child’s needs and successes. Celebrate together when your child brings home a good report card or earns a new achievement. Prioritizing peace over pride helps children feel loved and supported by both parents.
At The Barrows Firm in Southlake, we understand that co-parenting during the school year can be challenging, especially when legal or logistical questions arise. Our team of experienced family law professionals can help you review, modify, or enforce parenting plans so your child can succeed both at home and in the classroom. Whether you need guidance before the school year begins or support during an unexpected issue, we are here to help.
Contact The Barrows Firm today to schedule a consultation and give your family the confident start it deserves this school year.
